Welcome everyone to the sister stories podcast.
The aim of this podcast is to marvel at god's sovereignty over each of our lives as women and to encourage 1 another by sharing our stories.
My name is Sophie, and today I'm joined by Kanita.
Hi.
Hello.
Welcome.
So let's start with, who you are really.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Okay.
I'm I'm Kanita.
So I've a member of Corner St.
Judge, been a member for about 4 years now, I think.
How much did I? I grew up, kind of all over the place.
Really.
I was born in England.
I was born in London, but lived in Nigeria until I was about 5 or 6, then moved back to England was in the midlands for a bit, but then also, I went to school, a boarding school in Brighton.
Right.
Okay.
So it's nice.
Yeah.
Very nice.
Yeah.
And what do you do? I am an assistant for production companies.
I work for a team, film and TV company.
Great.
Okay.
So we're going to be talking about, your journey with the lord Jesus Christ.
Can you take us back to the beginning? So, your family backgrounds and how how it works when you grew up? Growing up, I grew up in a question home.
My dad was a vicar growing up.
He was a clergyman.
So I just grew up kind of, like, kinda in my family ministry because we were always at church, always, my dad ministered for the 1st part of his career in Nigeria.
So my early my earliest memories of being in church, like, in Nigeria Yeah.
Which was just kind of, yeah, going to church, going to prayer meetings, going to just grow up, grow up around questions, so I grew up hearing about lord.
Remember, believing in Jesus from a young age.
I don't think I remember, like, a specific time where I decided to give my life to Christ, but I just remember growing up believing in in him.
And then my family moved to, England, and then I went to boarding school in Brighton, And it, again, was a sort of a COV boarding school.
Mhmm.
So there was lots of church activities, that went on as well at school.
It was quite, it was back in the day.
So it was, it was quite involved in, like, chapel, and, I was quite involved in all the religious stuff.
So, again, we're still had a lot of question influence around me, which I think was really beneficial for me.
And then, so events after school University.
I think a lot of the Christian influence that I had around me kind of stopped.
Okay.
So would you say that, church was a big influence in your life, or, was it just something you did, and it was part of your routine almost? I think both.
It was just something that we did, but I think that fed into the fact that I gen I feel like when I was in, I generally did believe, but it did have a big impact on me.
Think it was very, very beneficial for me to grow up in a Christian home.
But it was also just life.
So, yeah, it was a bit of both.
Yeah.
So was it on to was it not on to a university that you kind of realized you had different values to other people, or did I strike you before? I think it struck me before.
I think I was surrounded by a lot of people that were in that but weren't Christians as well.
So I had, I think, I I didn't I don't think I had a lot of question, like, friends growing up.
Mhmm.
Because, even though, like, I went to a studio view school, I won't say that my friends were questions.
Yeah.
At least not practicing questions or like deeply deeply believing questions.
They're the question of things, but, yeah, so I think sorry.
What was the question? Yeah.
Just, yeah, how you notice that difference in in culture.
Culture.
I think I did mean to sit with friends growing up.
I think at uni, it was I lost a structure of that.
So it was more of like a discipline issue, right? And I think I benefit I benefited from that just being around me.
And then when I wasn't around that, I didn't actively pursue it.
So it kind of broke down.
I think the belief was still that deep down, but then it wasn't as seen outwardly if that works.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
How I wonder how things were at home as well, how young your dad is the vicar of the church.
Yeah.
And all of that, and you've with How yeah.
What you felt about that and how you related to that? Yeah.
Yeah, I really liked it.
I enjoyed it.
I I liked being a such kid.
I mean, there were parts of it that were annoying.
It always got volunteered for everything.
Oh, yeah.
And, like, yeah, you were there were sometimes when you, like, oh, I just wanted to go, but I I generally liked being around the church and things of the church.
I think that was my natural, disposition growing up.
And I think that was partly because I saw my dad do what what if but looked like he loved doing.
And so being around that energy made it enjoyable for me, I I think, growing up, that I did see I I think we moved around a lot.
We moved to lots of different charges, like, We're in churches in Nigeria.
And then we went to all souls in London.
Mhmm.
That was, part of our church.
Actually, my mom and dad got married that church, actually.
And then there were charges.
We had went to judge my dad administered that.
He was a minister of 2 different churches in, the Midlands, and then there was the church that I went to at school.
So I experienced a lot of different church cultures.
Okay.
So I saw a whole bunch of different things and stuff that the way people were done.
And, see, I understood that the nuances of the different, like, charges and stuff like that.
So and, yeah, I think it that helps me understand truly what I think religion was because it wasn't just I hadn't only just seen 1 thing.
I've seen lots of different things.
And and yeah, the Bible also definitely helps and guides and shapes and think it was laying a foundation popular on my youth.
I didn't realize at the time of just believing in the Bible that church will always look different, but, fundamentally, what's the most important thing is the Bible.
Yeah.
So you said you didn't realize that.
No.
I think it You did.
I did.
I don't think I realized that that's what I feel like that's I understood that just by seeing it.
I didn't realize that that's why I was standing as a child.
Obviously, but looking back, I think it was helpful to see lots of different types of churches.
Yeah.
And then maybe Young's standing of the Bible grew later on and Really? Yeah.
Exactly.
Come back to that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, it's not it's not important to Yeah.
Just focus on just 1 type of thing.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
What was it like at home as well? Because, as soon as your dad being the vicar, you probably were doing things at home as well.
Reading the Bible together, or as a family or not, not so much? We did.
It was it was kind of a source of concession.
We did.
We did use to have family prayers and family babb bible time.
But, my siblings don't currently go to church.
So I think that though it I remember Bible times at home always ending in a lot of consensus, and I think that's because my siblings didn't enjoy church, let's say.
I think I had a very different experience to them whereas I generally just liked it.
I think they felt forced to go to church and forced to do bibles.
So wasn't as enjoyable, or they had a completely different experience to me.
So are they younger than you or older? Oh, I'm the youngest.
Okay.
They're all older, which are probably if you ask them.
She's got who have you got in your family even? So, there are 2 boys and 2 girls that I have, 2 older brothers and an older sister.
My eldest brother passed away a few years ago, so then it's just me and my eldest.
I'm out.
So I brought my brother and my sister left.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are they in the UK as well? Or? Once in America, and my sister's in UK.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, nice.
Okay.
Great.
So, So, yeah, so you said you were growing up in the church, and then, did that, sorry, how did your face grow in over the years, or did did you move away from god? Did you come back? What what happened next, basically? Well, yeah.
So school was alright.
All school.
And, I think the part where my face actually probably broke down, was drew my uni ears.
And like I said, I think the main the thought center was that I stopped going to church or I stopped being surrounded by the church or church things.
And then, that coupled with just Yeah.
Who the people I was surrounded myself with, don't want I also want believing Christians or church guards, things that impacted my lifestyle a lot.
And then I looking back, just drifted more and more, more away from things of God.
Lenny.
Yeah.
I think that's what happened.
Did you did you, start university thinking I will look for a church and actually it just never quite happened or you just internally.
Yes.
I did.
And I think I did go to church a few times in 1st year.
I found, it was, anger because I grew up angry again.
So that's kind of Yeah.
All that I knew, for the last into my school was anger then.
So I did find an anglican church, but it wasn't, it was just kind of very old school just on Sunday type of anglican church.
So there wasn't a lot of artreach or anything.
And then they eventually stopped going, and then yeah, and then then just didn't really put enough energy or effort into finding, like, a good local church.
Yeah.
I assume that if you're used to 1 denomination, maybe it's really difficult, especially when you're not surrounded by your family or other people that can point you in the right in the right direction in Yeah.
Or help you at least.
Yeah.
Okay.
Actually, you can go to this other chair.
So Yeah.
Yeah.
It's tricky, isn't it? Think also it was just first time I was, like, kind of, like, on my own.
Whereas before I was put into those, in fact, my parents put, like, intentionally put me into environments where I could be at least surrounded by, like, church things, which I think was really helpful.
And this was the kind of first time when I needed to go and put myself into that environment and be intentional about it.
And I didn't think I realized the seriousness how you do need to be really intentional about putting yourself Yeah.
In a church.
Yeah.
Okay.
Great.
So, yes, I wonder what kind of brought you back.
Yeah.
Honestly, the lord, really, it was, you know, of course.
No.
Of course.
Yeah.
Sorry.
It it was it was, to be fair, looking back, and I do find it weird now because I'm just like, what was that? Because it I, obviously, there's no other explanation of part of the, like, the holy spirit.
There's no other explanation, but I remember since I'm distinctively, sit, lying on my friend's couch, must have been a Saturday morning.
And then I just had some I'm just feeling dropping something.
I just felt like something was wrong.
Just something was just wrong.
And, oh, and I couldn't shake just couldn't shake this feeling.
And I was like, I don't know what this is.
And then I was just like, I'm just gonna go to church and pray.
I don't know why I had that inclination.
I just felt like I knew that's what I needed to do.
That was the next step.
I'm like, I don't know what this is, but I just need to go and give it to god.
And in my mind, I think in my mindset at that time, I think I, again, Suji, how far I drifted.
I was like, I'll go, I'll pray.
Gives god, miss Karen live in my life.
Yeah.
But she's had other plans.
Thank god.
And so I went to church up and then with my friend, the next day.
And I remember sitting at the back of the church and I was just crying.
Literally just weeping.
I wasn't even sure why but I just I just felt this, like, deep sorrow within me.
And I was just reacquiring it.
And then there was an article I was like, I'm gonna write you a question, but I just really felt like I had to put my hand up.
So I did.
And I was just like, lord, I'm I'm sorry.
I don't even know what's happened.
And then I think from there, it was just like a slow process of the law just pulling me back to him.
And then I tried to start going to church again.
I started going to all souls for a bit, but then, which was the church that my parents, when we lived in London, we used to go So I was like, okay, let me go back to the church that I knew of when I was growing up.
But I lived oh, I lived in, near Southton.
So, like, I wasn't that committed to going all the way into Central London at that time.
So I kind of fell away from that.
I think I went for a few weeks and then kind of stopped And then the thing that I think the next proper turning point was when I picked a book and I I read a book called, a praying life by a common business by I can't remember.
You can't remember.
It's alright.
Yeah.
But yeah.
I think it's Tom is it Tom Miller? Or someone.
I didn't remember.
But, as a praying life, and I think that what changed from me was just that He, I, in that book, I think he just showed me Jesus, and I think I just fell in love with Jesus again.
And Yeah.
Remind me of my first love.
And then I was just like, oh, it's Jesus.
I need to go back to Jesus.
That's what's for missing.
And then I really wanted yeah.
I I really wanted to get back.
I didn't know why it needed, but I really wanted to get back just in church in something.
As I called, a friend of mine, the other friend I knew of at the time that was a Christian, and we started going through, the book of evasions together, everyone meet up every week before work, and just go through it chapter by chapter together.
Yeah.
Which was really, really great.
I felt like it was really encouraging to have, like, another Christian friend, another Christian sister to walk alongside me.
I felt like my faith really grew.
At that point.
And then, eventually through that, I got convicted of self serving in church.
So I started serving at the church.
I was at I was going to at the moment at that time, which was still in Central London.
And then I was like, I really need to find a local church.
I felt like the lord was really convicting me to find a local church, and then I found constant.
And I was like, I'm here.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, that's amazing.
Yeah, I was going to ask, actually, the the, obviously you were brought up for reading the Bible and all of that.
How much do you feel you understood of the gospel at that time in comparison with later on and how, you know, you picked up your bible again, that shows? Good question.
I think I understood it in terms of Jesus died for our sins.
Jesus died to save us.
Yeah.
I knew that because I've heard it.
He hasn't quite made it.
She's a great lady.
Yeah.
I think, again, I think for me, growing up, my my faith was was again, it was about it was about Jesus.
I just, I think I knew understood that that was level of my understanding.
And then I knew Jesus as a friend.
Like, I generally believed in him growing up.
I knew that he was a real person, and I knew that he was someone.
That he just was just the 1 that I need.
And I think now I still know there's 2 things.
But then the theology and the doctrine behind it makes that richer for me.
Is that when you understand what that actually really means in terms of like, what how the Bible explains the old testament, the prophecy is who he was, what he came to do, and the fact that he is orphan, how when you understand how it's possible that he is your friend, that just yeah.
It's mind blowing and it enriches your relationship with him.
So that's been is gonna journey coming to understand that, I think, in maturity, and I think I'm still trying to understand that.
Yeah.
I think we come fully understand this.
Can we Yeah.
But, yeah.
Yeah.
But it's interesting as well through your story how obviously you've experienced it as well.
It's not just a knowledge thing of actually, you knew it, you knew it kind of as a as a child, then because you drifted away.
And even if you hadn't, you got to actually experience what that practically means Yeah.
To actually turn to him, and you said this yourself, you don't need to know why you Yeah.
You felt you had to turn to him in prayer.
Yeah.
At that point, but actually, now you do know Yeah.
Why? Yeah.
Yeah.
And this yeah.
I think it's the lord's mercy that he gives us these experiences that is not it can't just be a head knowledge, because at this point, so many people have this knowledge in a way, but they're not following.
Yeah.
Jesus.
So Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's I think that's just the mercy of the gods.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Great.
Okay.
And, obviously, you've continued growing in your face after that.
Is there anything in particular that you feel you learned in these years non seroconus, yeah, even before, I don't know.
Yeah.
I think the fact the lord constantly taking me on a journey of learning.
Some of us.
I think, last year, I'll say it was probably 1 of the hardest years for me spiritually.
Because I think a lot just happened.
I I feel like I've been quite fortunate, in terms of I've heard people that say like, oh, I have the struggle to hear god's voice, so I've struggled with this without whatever.
I've always felt, apart from, obviously, times when I drifted, but, I I feel like I I've just always been sure of, like, no god's plan.
I don't know how to say that.
I've just always felt like, oh, yeah.
God has got me or whatever.
Yeah.
And I think last year was for somewhere I've I felt lost as a Christian as in, like, knowing God and being like, I don't know what you're doing here.
I don't know.
Yeah.
This is just completely left built.
Sometimes Yeah.
Changes that haven't Right.
It's just not questionable.
Yeah.
And I think, it was god's mercy.
Allow that to happen because I feel like when that happens, he's really just pulling you deeper into himself to know you, to get used to know him a bit more.
So I think what he's been teaching me, recently is to just to trust him and to lean on him and to just trust, yeah, and and how much that he uses his people and the church, specifically, through you getting to know him.
I feel like Even that last year was difficult, it was also 1 of the years that I grew more spiritually because I started serving on youth.
I it just got more involved in the church in ways that have been so, blessing and enriching to me.
That I don't think it would have happened if those circumstances hadn't.
So yeah.
That's fair enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's interesting because you might think in these situations to actually withdraw all of this and not to serve, but, yeah, sometimes because you're serving, it's helping you more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think that is that is my personality type.
And I think I'm I am used to withdraw, and I think lord was using that to teach me that that is not thing to do.
You you need to press into, your brother's sisters when you're doing that because we need we need each other.
Yeah.
That's great.
And lastly, I guess maybe you've answered that question already, but is there any specific advice you would give to a younger question? It's just a trust god.
He's just so infinitely, like, wise and good.
And caring and loving.
And, like, everything he does is is panned out, and it's for your good plea for your good, and I think the daughter's just been teaching me to just stand on his word and trust him when he says that he is the great am.
He is the 1 that's in control and that he is constantly watching movie, and that he will Yeah.
He will fulfill the work that he has regarding with me.
Yes.
So just trust god regardless of the situations, whether things look good or or things look bad, everything is ultimately good.
So just trust him and thank him in the moment, regardless of what you're going through, I think, with you.
Yeah.
This beautiful advice.
Great.
Well, thank you so much, Claireita, for sharing your story with us.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah.
It's alright.
Pleasure.
And that's all for today's episode of sister stories, but join us again next time.
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