Sister Stories

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Welcome everyone to the Sys to stone this process.

The aim of this compass is to mobile at those subtlety women, and to encourage all the member by sharing our stories.

My name is Sophie, and today I'm joined by Rosie.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

Welcome.

First of all, can you start by telling us who you are? Yep.

So I'm Rosie.

I'm married, Chris.

We've got 2 little kids, a 4 year old girl, a 1 year old boy.

So that's lots of fun.

I work in fashion e commerce, I work currently with a friend.

He's launched her in clothing label and flexi hours, and so that's, yeah, that's great.

Pretty fun.

Great.

So let's start with, your family background and your upbringing, upbringing.

Can you tell us a little bit about that? Yep.

Sure.

So, yeah, I grew up in a Christian home.

I had a really happy childhood.

So I was really fortunate.

My mum and is English, and she comes from a family of some really inspiring individuals of faith, actually, and her parents were, missionaries in Nigeria.

Her grandparents were missionaries in India.

So god's really blessed, that family throughout the generations.

And my dad's from Egypt, and he comes from a coptic Christian background.

And, and that has put a real richness of understanding from a young age about the differences of faith from different cultures and background.

And so that's a real privilege to have that.

And I've got 2 older brothers.

He, and both as as long as I can remember, have been, Christians and they're living out, really solid Christian lives now.

Oh, great.

How did that play out to these differences of faith What was the understanding of that as a child? What did you see about that? I think I was just struck with the unity.

I think It was really powerful to see, my parents together, from totally different cultures and backgrounds.

And I think before they married people had questioned whether it would work, but just seeing how god unifies people across different whole and they've just got a wonderful marriage, and they're a wonderful example to me growing up of how, you know, you can be different in your personality and your culture, but yeah, god unifies you.

So that was a really positive thing.

Yeah.

And, what was your experience of church growing up, did you get to church regularly, or what was your understanding of? Yeah.

We went to really lively big family church, down in Tawke, where I grew up.

And it was brilliant.

Yeah, we love going, and which to Sunday school, like the little class for kids each week.

And I always, it always made sense to me that there was a god.

I don't I don't think I ever doubted it.

Just, you know, looking at the smallest thing like a leaf on a tree and seeing the theties of it.

It just always made sense that there was a designer and a creator behind it.

And then hearing stories about she us and hearing how wonderful and incredible he was in his life, how he loved people, and how he yeah, lived out this this life, which impacted so many.

It, you know, I was drawn to him and drawn to listening to his stories, as a little kid.

So, yeah, all positive.

Yeah.

Wow.

So what about your personal faith and how, how did these things actually become personal to you, really.

Yeah.

So I I always, understood it, and believed it.

And I think it, I I was still at primary school when I went to a, a holiday club at church during 1 of the half terms, I think.

And the guy at the front at the end of the week, said, you need to make a decision.

This isn't about your family.

It's not about your friends.

It's not what they think or what they believe.

Actually, it's you.

You need to make a decision.

I never thought of that before.

I just sort of assumed that, you know, I was part of family, but I thought, oh, gosh, I've gotta make a decision.

And I thought, well, yeah, of course I want Jesus in my life.

Jesus is amazing.

And so I told my mum when I got home, and she gave me a little booklet that just described it really simply for her kids.

And I remember reading through that and just you know, reading that there's a barrier between us and the holy god, and that barrier is sin.

It's all the little things and big things that we've done that are not right.

With god, and we need to say sorry and trust that Jesus has taken away that barrier by taking the punishment on himself.

So we get to be friends of god.

And as a kid, you know, like, wow, we get to be friends of god.

That's amazing.

And so, yeah, and I asked I prayed and asked you to be in my heart.

And I think being a kid, I expected something magical to happen.

So I thought, you know, some glitter would fall from the ceiling or some stars of it, but, yeah, nothing happened.

But I knew I'd done the right thing.

And, yeah, I really believe God had a hand on me.

And even though I was young.

And it was a genuine prayer.

Yeah.

Right.

So how how did that face develop later on in your life then? Did that, yeah, did that carry on? Do you feel, or did you go away for a little bit? How did that develop? Yeah.

I think, you know, although it was a genuine prayer, I didn't properly understand.

A lot of it, and I my teenage years were full of angst, for sure.

I suddenly felt really big feelings and big emotions and full of, you know, you get swamped with hormones.

It can be quite a tricky time, and I definitely felt a lot of stuff that I didn't know how to deal with.

So that made me become quite, inward focused and focused on myself.

And I became very selfish and very self absorbed, and I was just trying to figure out who I was and what all these feelings were.

So, yeah, teenage years were were kind of I was fine at school and was fresh.

But at home, my safe space, I was taken out of my parents for sure.

They took the brunt of it, And I just, I was, yeah, I didn't know how to navigate it, so I just really ended up focusing on myself rather than on, God or my faith, and that just grew and grew until I left the university.

And suddenly I had freedom as well.

So the combination, really just led me to a really holistic lifestyle, and I just threw myself into a lifestyle which gave me the most pleasure and me the most, you know, kind of feel good, experience, you know, as our clubbing and partying and having well of a time, but there was an emptiness underneath it.

It was very superficial, and it was all about me, me, me, me, for sure.

Every choice I made was about what can I get out of it? What can make me feel good, and not thinking about what god would think about it at all.

Did you still feel drawn to coming to church though at that time, or how was that? For you.

I know it's funny, isn't it? I think I just definitely has within me.

And, you know, I had asked you into my life, and I do believe he had his hand on me, and I felt I needed to be part of church.

So I did connect with a church, and I went, but I was I was very much in the outskirts, and I went to, enjoy the social side of homes and meet other students, but I did not wanna talk to anyone who would challenge me on how I was living my life, I would avoid that, like, the plague, because, yeah, I became that phrase like a Sunday Christian.

I'd come to church, but then live throughout the week for myself.

And it was it was quite a looking back, there was a battle within me, for sure, that I was trying to you know, I knew the truth, but it wasn't in my heart.

I wasn't living out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder how Your family reacted.

I mean, obviously, you were far away from them at university, but, whether they were aware of that and what their reaction was to your lifestyle? Yeah.

I think it was really hard for them, especially my parents.

They have always been an example of unconditional love.

So it yeah.

I think knowing that you know, I was kind of going through that and knowing how selfish I believe I was living my life.

I'm sure what I know.

I gave him a lot of sleepless nights.

But they were praying for me and what a powerful thing that is, you know, that and in retrospect, so I'm eternally grateful for that, and they would always be there for me.

But I think they knew that I had to find my way back to god and find my own path.

I certainly wouldn't be told.

So I had to find out the hard way back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I guess that's when you see, the impact of Prayan sometimes that takes years, doesn't it, but we don't.

In the moment, we just think Oh, it's going to be instantaneous, and it's going to just sort out everything.

But actually, sometimes it does take a long time, but that perseverance from them it is a great blessing, isn't it? Yeah.

Absolutely.

Definitely.

So how did you find your way back eventually? How how does that happen? Yeah.

It all came to the head, I guess, the way that I was living.

I got in a relationship with a guy.

He, actually was a Christian, so I thought, you know, oh gosh, this is gonna sort out everything.

You know? And That's what you think is this often the other way around that the person who's a Christian predicts a non cushion, for example, thinks, oh, that's going to make an efficient.

So it's interesting that you were thinking about the I'm sorry.

I I often hear people thinking the other.

But, anyway, no.

Sorry.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Relationships, but, yeah, I I think I just thought, you know, this is giving the piece that I'm missing.

You know, this is the kind of but I obviously wasn't in the in the right frame of Mars, and I was I had some all the habits I've got in teams that I was with him, but I and I can't really care them, but I because I was so wrapped up in myself and so so.

With.

I treated him really badly, and I cheated on him throughout the year and a half hours with him.

And I feel I could get away with it.

This is how far my head was gone in my ear.

Wow.

Do whatever I want as soon as it made me feel good.

And it didn't matter what the impact to have on on anyone else.

But it came to an abrupt end in year and a half into it where he just sat me down and said, Rosie.

And, yeah, he goes off.

Right.

That was the shock I needed, and it's strange to own shops when people might think why would shocked if you were behaving in that way.

But I just that's the blindness that you get when you're not, you know, you're just refused seem to think about how you're living.

So, yeah, it was a it was a wake up call, at cheap, that was God's kindness because I looked at myself for the first time, and I thought, gosh, I don't recognize myself.

I don't know who you are.

Come, it's really ugly.

You know, the way that our tutors came and others, kind of let left people, hurt in my wake.

That's just, you know, I can't believe I've kind of slipped that far.

And I yeah.

A ton way of guilt fell on me, from how had treated him and others previously, and it felt suffocating.

And I went to a really dark place, actually.

I felt like we couldn't breathe with the weight of it.

And and I remember just waking in the morning and feeling I don't wanna wake up.

I, you know, I had really quite dark thoughts.

So I wasn't in a good place, and my parents again, you know, they were really worried about me and and what I was thinking and feeling.

So I ended up going back home.

To my, to their house.

And I went into my bedroom, where I grew up and I just fell literally fell on my knees and just sobbed my heart out.

And I felt I had this weight on my back, and I just cried out to god for the first time genuinely from the depths of my soul, and I said god, If you love me, if you still love me in this mass, you need to help me because I can't, I just don't know how to deal with this.

I can't get rid of skill, and it weighs a ton, and I'm I need your help.

And in that moment, it tangibly felt like he just reached down and picked up this weight off my back, and he lifted it up.

And it felt like I could breathe.

And I just that the next moment felt completely flooded with his love for me.

And I, I just got it in that moment, and I realized what I'd been missing, I'd had the head knowledge and I'd known the truth, but it hadn't translated to my heart.

And I'd been missing the whole relationship side with him haven't been including him, my day to day, in talking to him, in, you know, leaning on his strength again, me through in his guidance and his wisdom, and the fact that you love me so much, and I just kind of turned my back on him and wanted to be the boss of my own life.

You know, we all have someone on the throne of our lives.

And for most people, it's us.

It's yourself.

And we have to get our self off the throne and put god back on the throne in his rightful place, and that's what I hadn't been doing.

So I got it in that moment.

It made sense what I've been missing.

And it's not like everything suddenly became you you know, I've gotten into a lot of bad habits and I've become so self absorbed.

I had to unwrap all of that, but I had god with me now.

Personally with me in a relationship that I could talk to, I could pray to, and his strength to get me up.

Does me off every time I stumbled and fell.

And him to just grow me, strengthen me, and it was, it was completely different because I wore doing it in my own strength anymore.

It was him as the boss of my life, being my strength and taking charge, which is what I desperately needed, and that gave me freedom.

Yeah.

That's amazing because I feel sometimes, yeah, you you're right that you had the head knowledge, but in a sense, until you experienced it, it's for real, what it actually means to be a sinner who needs forgiveness.

You can't understand it sometimes, and we all need to come to that realization somehow Yeah.

Seeing our actions or that of people around us or something.

Yeah.

And I feel like, however much we might know this, and I see this in Sunday school when I teach the kids now, they they just understands, but I keep on telling them, you need to make that your own.

You need to church, so you're right, it just can't stop there.

So, but I know that it probably won't happen for them until they actually experience something similar.

But it's really interesting how god's mercifully carried you through all of these all of these problems and troubles in a sense, but on the other end, at the other end rather just got you through and and showed you how you needed his grace, through all of that.

I mean, goodness, I get god's grace.

I really get the depths of god's grace because of what I I, yeah, where I got and I see that as such a kindness, actually, that that I understand how much He gave for us and how much he how much he loves the absolutely loves each 1 of us.

And I wouldn't I kind of feel like I wouldn't have got that unless I'd kind of had something to kinda really yeah.

Open up my eyes to that.

That's that's great.

So you're now married with 2 kids.

How how did you meet actually with Chris? Sorry.

Taking it further.

Yeah.

Sure.

So, yeah, so I I ended up moving to London.

I just always loved London, so I just thought I'd move here.

I didn't have a job to go get on you.

And yeah, I was, I've got part I was part of a church in Central London.

And I was, to be honest, I was struggling to find someone I was attracted to.

He was Christian, in all honesty.

And I kind of got to the point.

I was like, oh, you know, god, you need to bring me someone.

And, and I was like, and, you know, I'm gonna try and forget about it, and I'm gonna get involved and share I'm gonna, you know, help start getting really stuck in.

And I was hoping to lead Christianity Explored courses and things like that.

And I think god really honored that commitment, actually, because then it felt like he dropped Chris out of the sky, on the steps of the church.

And he just kind of turned about the bleeds.

It really felt like that.

And we we literally got together that that week, with no No kind of messing around.

No, you know, it was so it felt as if this is the man god It took him a lot longer to kind of be convinced, but I felt I called my mum.

It was so funny the next week and said, I've met the man I'm gonna marry She's like, yeah, calm down.

But it was.

And so, yeah, it was a real gift, I feel, and he is such a he's such a solid, strong character, and I really god knew that I needed that.

I think, he's really saddled me and he's really been a gift and gotten you excited the kind of man I need it.

So I'm so grateful for that.

That was great.

So going a bit closer to now, is there anything that you have learned in the last year or so that you you'd like to share with people? Yeah.

I mean, gosh, so much.

I just always learning, you know, new things about, oh god, but, I mean, I think in the last, I think recently, just the reminder that god is bigger than anything.

We, come and, you know, the looking at the world, I don't know about you, but I just get so overwhelmed with the newsfeed.

Yeah.

And what's going on in the world? Just the pain and the suffering and the brokenness and it can feel overwhelming when we look at it.

And I think it's just a reminder that god holds his work in his hand.

Made this world.

He sees every little thing that is going on.

And and we mustn't lose sight of that.

We need to keep our head up and our eyes fixed on him, and he is the 1 that hope and life Yes.

Into this world.

And we have to remind ourselves because I think, you know, especially when we're walking with godings, opening our eyes to a lot of the pain in the offering.

It's quite easy to get bogged down in it, but it's just a reminder that we need to not, reduce god who what he can do.

But just remind ourselves that he is big enough.

His grace is big enough.

And he's doing amazing things.

In the spoken world.

And he is he's got a plan for it, and he's gonna bring it back to place the restoration.

Yes.

And we need to be sharing that hope with people, gosh, don't we, when we look at this world? Yeah.

Exactly.

So, yeah, I keep being reminded that.

Yeah.

And do you have any advice they'd like to give to younger Christians perhaps or maybe younger parents even? Yeah, I think something that's really striking for me is that we are all made so uniquely.

God's given us.

He unique gifts, unique talents, a unique position in this life, you know, your circumstances where you live the people you're connected to, who god brings you into contact with, trust him that he's got a plan for you and only you, you're unique.

Don't compare yourself.

You know, don't think, or, you know, that person in churches doing this.

Yeah.

Talk to god and figure it out between you and god what it is, and he brings you those opportunities and how to reach and impact a hurting world.

And it's so incredible when you ask him those opportunities because he really open up the doors for you and only you.

And it's such a privilege, and it's so exciting, and there's nothing like it.

When you are doing what god's got planned for you.

And that's true for every single person.

That he knows intimately.

Yeah.

That's right.

And I think we get so influenced by the world in looking at ourselves.

As individuals almost and just seeing how, you know, we want to, yeah, I guess we compare ourselves to others and we want to compete with those others and be better than fitter and more intelligent away where it might be.

But actually, you're right.

God sees us as individuals and as people who are unique and he values each 1 of us separately.

We definitely with separate gifts and and different gifts.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a great thing to remember, isn't it? Great.

Thank you so much, Rosie, for sharing your story with us today.

And thank you everyone for listening.

This is all for today's episode of sister stores, but join us again.

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