Sister Stories

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Welcome everyone to the sister stories podcast.

This is the 2nd season of sister stories, and we'll be releasing a new episode on the last Monday of each month.

You can find all the episodes on any podcast platforms that you are using, and this podcast aim is to marvel at god's sovereignty over each of our lives as women and to encourage 1 another by sharing our stories.

My name is Sophie, and today I'm joined by Carrie.

Hi.

Hi, Carrie.

So first of all, can you tell us, who you are? Yeah.

So, my name's Carrie.

I'm married to, Ben, who is training to be a pastor at Cornerstone Church.

We live in Kingston.

And I work as a speech and language therapist, in the community with adults with learning disabilities.

Great.

Thank you.

So we're going to be talking about your journey to faith, in the lord Jesus Christ, but can you start us off by, telling about a bit about your family background? Yeah.

So I was brought up in Worcester.

I'm 1 of 3, so I'm the youngest in my family.

And yeah, pretty normal, background really.

I I grew up in a Christian Christian family.

My parents are faithful evangelical Christians.

They're they're brilliant, and they faithfully took us to church.

They faithfully taught us gospel, read the Bible to us, and explained the gospel to us, yeah, as we were growing up.

Wow.

That's amazing.

So I wonder how how early you had, an understanding or a grasp of of who god is and and of the gospel Yeah.

To be honest, I can't even really remember because I've always just known that God was there.

And I think I was probably about 4 or 5 where when I remember just knowing that I was a sinner, it's just having that simple faith of knowing I knew I was a sinner.

I was I was quite afraid of where I might go when I died, and my parents just helped me understand that I I needed a aid yet and that I just needed to ask you just to forgive me and that he would be my save So, yeah, I think I was my outside.

Wow.

I prayed that's right with my parents.

Wow.

That's that's amazing to And I think it's really encouraging as, well, I teach Sunday school and and quite a lot of people are involved in in children's work in the church and seeing these children grow is really encouraging to see that you can play.

I feel like it's a bit of a boring testimony.

As I'm corrected, it's not boring being safe, you know, by by Christ, but it is an encouragement to all those parents and the Sunday school teachers and stuff that You know, I I just feel so blessed now as an adult to have had had that explained to me so clearly when I was younger, and, yeah, encourage people, but it does go in.

You know? You can't be too young, really.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

And and god works in our hearts whatever the circumstance we're in, really.

So that's really that's really encouraging.

But obviously, I'm sure your story has has more to it as all our lives, you know, are quite complex.

So I wonder whether you can take us through, how that developed in your heart and and how you continue to grow, in your face.

Yeah.

I mean, my my parents now still say that I when I was quite young, I had big questions, So even though I had that really strong grasp at the gospel from a young age, I had these huge questions of, like, life and how did god work and I couldn't quite grasp, you know, a god that was bigger than me and and, you know, the universe and all those kind of questions when I was probably like 8 or 9, and I would ask them.

And I I think when I was a little bit older, maybe 11 or 12, I remember kind of giving myself over to the fact that I wasn't ever gonna be able to understand these things fully, but I could know a god that did and god reveals stuff to us, but also the bits I don't understand, I could submit to god who did understand them and and kind of leave them with him and and trust in a god who who was all powerful and I got that I couldn't ever kind of get my head around.

So that I I remember that being quite a a big big part.

I I remember going to a summer camp and, and that was around the time that I decided to get baptized and I remember again that kind of, in that stage, god become that relationship with god feeling a bit more real, you know, rather than it being things I knew, it it felt more like a personal relationship when I was a teenager.

And they may always, like you said, life isn't all plain sailing either.

It wasn't there.

You know, it's all that smooth.

So when I was about 17 18.

I I started dating a non Christian.

And I was quite conflicted about it at the time.

I it wasn't that I was like, yes, I think this is fine.

I think I knew that that that didn't line up with, with my faith in god.

And I think and but I was with him for nearly 3 years.

And that whole time, whenever I was in church or or in my prayer life and in my quiet times, I knew that there was something that I wasn't giving over to my lord.

You know, I was holding it back, and keeping that part of my life from him.

And it didn't feel simple to me.

It wasn't, oh, you know, He's a non Christian.

I'll just break up with him because in my head, that wasn't loving to him.

And, you know, we did have con genuine conversations about faith, but in the end, when I was at university, I was surrounded by lots of amazing Christian friends, and I think I realized that I just needed to give my whole life back to Jesus and give it all back to him.

And, I remember a real piece actually that came, around that time where where I decided to break up with him.

And, so yeah, yeah, that was that's quite a big big part of my life that Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think sometimes that can be actually a good testimony to the person in the way that you are you actually strongly committed to something, which in our world, people are always divining their attention almost.

And and they're they're committing to something whilst knowing that it's not quite right or things like that.

It's actually, that's a good example, sometimes.

Interesting me enough.

The best Some of the best advice I had at the time was from from 1 of my closest non Christian friends.

She's an old 1 of my oldest friends, and she was just put it black and white to me.

She was like, Carrie, it just doesn't make sense because God is such a big part of your life, and it's not part of his.

And so you can never share what's something that's so important to you, you can't share with him.

So it's never gonna work.

And she said that to me, and I was like, oh.

Yeah.

It is interesting how I've had similar experiences actually where where a non Christian would tell me this isn't right.

And actually it felt like God was using them to tell me that.

And really strongly actually sometimes, that's really interesting.

Wow.

Okay.

So After you broke up with him, you said you felt that peace.

I assume that you you kind of went back more towards god and felt more Yeah.

Whitting.

Yeah.

And and it wasn't that when I was, dating this chat over those years, it wasn't that I felt far from god, but it was You know, I I was still serving in church and and god, my faith was still really important, and I was still walking with Jesus, but it was like there was this big part of my life I was keeping from him.

And I wasn't submitting my all and trusting my all in him.

And so the joy and the peace when I let that go I gave it to Jesus was was amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's great.

So You are in King Sinha, you're married, to Ben.

Can you tell us a little bit what happened in the last next few years? Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ben's a bit of a long story, really.

Sorry.

You still have to go into all the details.

No.

It's fine.

We actually met at the summer camp I was talking about, we originally met there.

And, I mean, to be honest, our friendship is a real testament to god's sovereignty because, I spent some time in America, and he was in America, and we kind of reconnected there.

And then, when he came to university, he came to university in Kingston, I was at Royal Holloway, which is about half an hour away.

And we reconnected through the CUs.

So we were both serving on the Christian unions, and we met a joint London training event And so, like, god just kept bringing us together.

And, and yeah, and we got married.

And, and we decided to stay in Kingston because of the church.

Actually, because when I was at university, I really struggled to find a good Bible teaching chair and and, you know, I I was committed to churches, but I I never quite found 1 that felt like home.

And I realized how spoiled I was growing up with incredible bible teachers.

And then I came to visit Cornerstone a few times with Ben when he was at university.

And I was like, this is it.

This is this is home church for me.

So I said to him, I was like, okay.

We're getting married.

We're we're moving to Kingston because I wanna go to Cornerstone.

Oh, that's great.

Okay.

So how long have you been in Cornerstone then? So just over 6 years.

And Ben's been here for about 10 now.

Yeah.

So we joined around the same time, actually.

Oh, wow.

That's amazing.

Great.

Okay.

So I guess we're going to move on a little bit to maybe more recent things.

And, yeah, it's been it's been a challenging couple of years, really.

I wonder if you could tell us about your experience of how it's been to not be in church in person and have these things kind of taken away, and how you've you've handled that? Yeah.

I mean, it was a real funny time for me, so I've just recently qualified as a speech therapist, so I was studying during the pandemic.

And I found that so hard because Ben was working for the church.

So he was quite often out of the house, and I was on my own.

And when you're studying as well, there wasn't much inter interaction, you know, I would log on and watch a lecture and then have to work on my own.

So I wasn't getting much interaction at all, and I was lonely, actually.

And And it it was funny because a lot of my friends in the church had young children, and and they had a a different kind of chaos going on.

And and I felt a bit bad, but you know, that I was like, oh, I'm just on my own and bored and it's quiet.

But, I mean, but I I think there were 2 kind of main things that I learned through that time, and and 1 is, usually I like to do things.

I'm a doer.

You know, if if I'm not very good at knowing what to say, but if someone's going through a tough time, I'll I'll, like, bake something or cook or, you know, I I I like to be practical.

And so having that taken away was a real challenge, actually.

And, something I I mean, I definitely haven't learned this yeah, this is still something that I need to keep reminding myself of is that, like, the power of prayer and praying for people isn't So often we say, oh, I'll just pray, but there's no just about it.

You know, we are asking, god, intervene, and he is powerful to to help.

And it's an active way we can be involved in people's lives when we're away from them.

And so that was something I clung to at the time is, okay, I can't go around and look after their children, or I can't take a around, but I can pray and and reminding myself that that isn't a lesser thing.

Yeah.

And it's really encouraging to hear that people are praying for us as well, isn't it? So just reminding ourselves of that can be really helpful to make us to have us pray, actually.

And just think the joy of knowing that other people, even if you haven't re requested it in brackets, you know, or or as for prayer, then that people are still thinking of doing their prayers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the other 1 was which I found a real challenge is it is again, you know, my husband works in ministry.

We're very actively involved in the church.

So our lives are quite busy, and we do a lot.

There's a lot of plans involved, you know, we're we're planning to go to contagious or we're planning to go and see family or whatever.

And so having that stripped away kind of took me back to god is suffering, and I'm not in control.

I think me having a calendar and planning gives me that false sense that I'm the 1 that's in control of this.

But, yeah, I was I was really encouraged just to remember that we we have our god, is it? Over it all and in control of our plans.

And and, I think it's a verse in James about, you know, oh, who plan who plans tomorrow, you know, you think you're in control of it.

So we're but we're not.

And and there was still good in that.

You know, there was there was no plans for what, like, the best part of the year.

And, yeah, I could drop in on friends or go for walks with people that I wouldn't usually have time for because I was too busy in the you know, in the and it's funny because now we're going a bit back more back to that.

I'm finding that a challenge because I Yes.

I quite like being able to go for a lunchtime walk with my friend around the corner, you know, and not have it packed out diary.

So yeah.

Actually, I was going to ask you how you were finding coming back.

So that's the biggest thing that you mentioned that.

Yeah, it is challenging, isn't it, to just feel like it's back to what it used to be, and it does feel different.

And it's hard to see exactly why it is different or or Yeah.

I guess we just we just get used to things very quickly, don't we.

I wonder if she found anything else challenging or or any encouragements actually.

I mean, it's just so encouraging to meet with people.

You know, on a Sunday morning, I've really enjoyed getting back we help with the youth work and being able to see them in person.

Zoom was no substitute there.

And, you know, being able to spend time with people in their houses, you know, over a cup of tea or going around for a meal that, you know, that that is something that, well, I think we all craved.

And and it reminds us, doesn't it, is that that is how god made us.

He is in relationship and he wants relationship with us, and and we invest in relationships in this world.

So, you know, that is why having that taken away from us was so painful and why it's it's such a joy now.

But like you said, we quickly get used to it, and I don't want to get used to it.

I wanna remember what a what a blessing it is.

Yeah.

That's great.

So we're going to finish with if you have any advice to share with maybe younger Christians or just people in general in the church, that that you've learned throughout your life? I think the first 1 is don't rely on how you feel.

Don't rely on how you feel about God.

Or about faith.

Our feelings are fleeting and changing and, you know, and unreliable.

So don't rely on how you're feeling about god, but rely on what you know about god.

And and if you're feeling far from god or if you're feeling away or or or feeling like god is distant, then go back to the scriptures and go What does it say about god? Actually, it says that god has got us under his wings.

It says that he loves us.

He's it says that he won't leave us.

And therefore, it takes us away from ourselves and what we're feeling and and back to truth, and and the things we know.

And the second 1 is keep going.

Especially when things are hard.

If it's hard to come to church or if it's hard to meet with people or if it's hard to read your bible, do it anyway.

But I I suppose that's linked to the feelings thing.

If you don't feel like doing it, it it's actually still gonna really bless you and build you up.

You know, how often have we not felt like going to a home group? And then once we've gotten to the end of it, like, hi, gee.

I'm so glad we went, you know, So keep keep going and and serve too.

You know, serve if it if it's hard and pray.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's really important to remember because as you say, we we feel 1st of all, we feel better for having done it, but also that's in these moments that god uses something in the conversation to remind us of something that he's done and of who he is.

So not just about making us feel better, but actually that knowledge of god we have is just brought back to our minds, really, and that's really important sentences.

And for other people too, 1 of the best things I think my dad ever said to me is when I was a teenager, I was like, oh, I don't wanna go to church.

I'm not getting anything out of it.

He said, well, it's not about you.

You know, think of the person that you're encouraging just by being there.

Even if you're not taking the sermon in, even if you're finding it really hard that day, you, you, you being there is encouraging someone you know, and it yeah.

It's not always about you either as well.

Yeah.

And because we're relational, as you said earlier, just saying hello to someone can be really encouraging and not, you know, there might not be much to it, but actually, yeah, just having seen that person that day.

That's really helpful.

Thank you so much, Carrie, and thank you for sharing your story with us.

That's all for today's episodes, everyone, but join us again next time.

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