Sister Stories

Transcript (Auto-generated)

Welcome everyone to the Sister Stories podcast.

The aim of this podcast is to marvel at god's sovereignty over each of our lives as women and to encourage 1 another by sharing our stories.

My name is Sophie, and today I'm joined by Grace.

And can you start by telling us who you are? Yeah.

Sure.

So I'm Grace.

I was originally born in Kong, but I came to England when I was 12.

And, I've been a Christian since I was 9, and I've been coming to Cornerstone for about 10 years.

Yeah.

And I'm a bit writer.

It's a very complicated job, but, yeah, I write for businesses.

Great.

Okay.

So let's start with, your family back and you are bringing.

Can you tell us a little bit about that? Yeah.

Sure.

So my family background, so I was brought up in a Christian home, so mom and dad, they were, both Christians and, Dad was a kind of like a, like a minister elder kind of role growing up.

So, my childhood was really strict, and it was always very kind of, Christ and Bible centered.

And that was both pros in concept.

And, yes, I was an only child, which meant I had all of the attention from home, And, from what I've remembered, Jesus was always what mom and dad taught me.

And they made a decision when I was I think, about maybe coming up to year year 4, year 5, that, sending me a board might be something that might be quite good for me.

So I Yeah.

So I came to England when I was 12.

They came with me as well initially just sat on me down.

But, yeah, Right.

So would you say that you knew, the gospel quite early on, or was whether things that you didn't quite fully understand.

Yeah.

So that's that's a really interesting question.

I would say I I knew it in my head, but not in my heart, but because, of how much I knew in my head it actually became quite an obstacle or even, I don't want to say a stumbling block, but it really hindered me from just the simple faith, from just trusting Jesus as he is, and just kind kind of coming to him as I am.

So, yeah, it was, it was journey, and it took me quite a long time because I'm an over thinker.

So, yeah, it took me quite a while.

Yeah.

Right.

Would you say as well how how did that, work out with your you said you're a big our bringing was quite strict as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So would you say that was linked with that? And maybe yeah.

Yeah.

So that's What do you think? So that's really interesting.

Because it was a very strict household, and I think mom and dad would always train me up to.

The first thing you do when you get up with is you you would, have your quiet time.

So before you come up with breakfast, before you can speak to us, have your quiet time dude.

And I think because of that, I kind of really feel like I'm really falling short of god's standard.

And of what I want to be as a Christian.

I feel I'm constantly failing, constantly, like, never living up to that.

As a challenge, you mean, when child as a child, because I think I had my first bio where I was really young.

Like adult Bible actually probably reading for it, because I think they believed, like, the church that my parent and I grew up in, it was very Brephon and really believes that the child should learn the whole Bible.

Yeah.

So, yeah, it was, I would say, the lord kind of gave me really good foundation, but, my heart, it was just not quite there.

Like, I really want to believe, and I remember saying to god, like, lord, I really want to believe you.

I don't know how, show me how.

Yeah.

I think that was when I was I was before when I was 9.

I can talk more about it.

So, because There was 1 time, and I think there's this quite, pivotal in my, coming to know the lord.

So mom I went with her to visit, a family member.

But this was, I'm not gonna name the country's name, but a place where you can't talk about Christ Open So it's all quite underground, and mom laid it really plainly to him.

If you don't believe in Jesus, you will be, attorney separate from god, meaning you will go to hell.

And that word it really shocked me.

So I remember I I couldn't let go of that, and I kept going to my mom.

And mom's like, Grace, we'll talk about Lakers.

I said, no, mom, if if if what you're telling our relatives is true, we need to sort out right now.

Yeah.

Like, So it means I'm going to help if I don't believe, and that was the beginning of, really asking god, really pleading with god.

Like, lord, How do I believe? Like, I need to believe I don't wanna go to hell, but at the same time, I don't want to only believe so that I don't go to hell.

If I'm gonna believe like, let it be a genuine belief and not, I don't want it to be an exchange.

Yeah.

So can you tell us what what happened then when you were 9 years old and what changed Yeah.

From that time.

So, So, basically, that conversations of the the hell bit that happened, I think maybe when I was 7, So it took about 2 years, I think, and I was really just going through I just found it really hardened, just really wrestling.

And then my mom and dad, after church, on Sunday, they took me to a church conference.

And, it was there that I really heard, the story of the 2 thieves who were crucified and next to Jesus.

Yeah.

1 thief that not believe, the other thief said amended me, Lord, and that really I think that was it for me.

That really spoke to me.

And I remember in that moment saying to god, lord, I want to be like this fieve.

Help me be like this thief.

So I went home, see, like, quietly because I didn't wanna tell my parents.

That was really is growing up.

Oh, so rebellious, growing up.

So close the door behind me, and I now before garden.

I said, lord, remember me.

And thank you for sharing me.

Belief is not so complicated.

I have to create a feeling in me for me to really feel, oh, yeah.

I really believe.

But, actually, it's as simple as I need you, lord.

Remember me.

And Yeah.

It was really interesting because I still remember it now.

I did ask specific clear that the law will keep me in him if I should live to her when I was 20, if I lived to us 40, if I lived to us 60, if I even lived to us 90 that I'll keep that he'll keep me in him and until I see him face to face.

So remember probably in that.

Yeah.

Wow.

As though you said that you came to the UK when you were 12.

Yes.

You went to boarding school, didn't you? I did.

I it.

Yeah.

So tell us a little bit about that transition.

How how what what that was like for you really? Yeah.

Okay.

So, for me, it was, like, coming to Mars.

It was, like, coming to Mars.

Did you speak English at the time? So I thought I did, but then when I opened my mouth, it turned out I did not, and no 1 understood.

And I didn't understand anybody.

So but it was really quite, exciting for me because, so school in Hong Kong was really hard, and I had found it yeah, just it was just it wasn't really, it didn't I would say it kind of gave me a lot of, worries and anxiety growing up.

So mom and dad really wanted me to the education environment where the pressure is not so much, and that I could really just enjoy learning And so, which I'm really so thankful to, mom and dad for it, actually.

And god, as well, will provide us with that.

So I remember when I was at school, the first thing that my dad did when we arrived, was to speak to our headmistress and the figure, which was I don't really care you know, where go where Grace goes to uni, but 1 thing I care, which is she reads her bible, that all I care about.

If you can make sure that she meets a bible every day, us as parents, we won't worry.

Because we've really left Grace to the lord.

We've committed her to the lord, and we know she'd be in safe hands.

So just just help her to, like, make sure she's reading her bible.

Because of that, my whole dorm.

There are 12 of us.

Mhmm.

Every morning before breakfast.

Grace, have you read your Bible? Grace, have you read your every single day.

Even now, when I see them, having seen them in ages, but they were still asking me, Chris, are you still reading your bible? So because of that, it was Yeah.

And I think there were, I think because I was so young, I was 12, it wasn't as difficult guess, in terms of, like, immersed in the culture.

1 thing I didn't remember there was because I didn't really understand anything.

I used to just watch people's, like, mouth shapes and 1 time, they asked me if I wanted to go to the tuck shop.

I didn't know what tough meant to be honest, I didn't really know what anything meant.

And I just stared at the blank.

So they've thought, well, okay, we'll just leave her to it then because she clearly didn't really want to go, but they came back with all sorts of different you know, like junk food, like crisps, sweets, like enough to fill in for whole week.

And now it's like, Wow.

Good.

Now I know what tuck meant.

Oh, it's so fun.

Yeah.

Okay.

So how long were you in that school for? Yeah.

So 7 years.

So year 7 to year 13.

So main school and then stayed for 6 form in then.

Yeah.

And then where did you go to uni? And then where did I go? Yeah.

Yeah.

So I went to Middlesex University, which is North London, and I did English literature there.

I then moved to Kingston for my masters and that's when I started coming to Cornerstone.

Yeah.

So how long ago was that? Wow.

Okay.

So, mirror 6 was 2010, and then, Kingston was 2013.

Right.

So 10 years ago, but 10 years ago, honestly.

10 years ago.

Yeah.

Great.

Yeah.

So I'm curious to see how so obviously through, after your, this children's conference that you went to Yeah.

How the law has grown your faith over the years, and we're going to talk a little bit about maybe more recent times as well.

But can you start with maybe something you've learned over time, apart from reading your bible every day clearly? But, you know, just just lessons that you've learned throughout time.

Okay.

So let's just start with so basically, Let's just start with after I became a question to when I, moved to England for school.

So just really distinctively after praying that prayer.

I remember, really clearly, oh, like lord, even though I know I'm in you, but I'm I just I can't stop sinning.

Like, the even the second I came out of that bed room after, asking the lord to come into my life.

The first thing that dad said to me was Chris, where did you put this thing? I'm like, why did you spend so long in your room? And it was immediately, oh, like, and so reminding me I'm still in a world that is, you know, sinful.

I'm still in a world that I'm gonna sin, and it's still all of the things I've struggled with in the lead up to me ask, becoming his child, I am still the same grace.

I'm still the, you know, the rebellious grace, still the grace who doesn't really listen a lot of time.

And it took me a long, a long while for me to realize that just because I'm his, that does not mean I'm going to obey him.

Until I see him, perfectly, or even obey him sometimes even.

And so that was the start off my kind of, spiritual what were for the lord, which is marked by, repentance and faith? A lot.

Oh, lord.

I'm sorry.

I did not listen to my mom.

Oh, lord.

I'm sorry.

I I lied, but help me remember lord that you know, you still remember me and also, come as I am.

And then when I was so that was before I came to England, so 9 till 12.

And then when I came to England, so I was given my English Chinese Bible.

And because of that, my, you know, people from school.

I was reading it.

I was reading my Bible.

However, there was really any church or anyone around me.

So I did kind of, you know, there it was a lot of kind of up and down, So I remember 1 time, I actually went through a whole month without reading God's word.

And, but the lord was so gracious.

And every time I feel very far from him, he would use either different people, And even though I didn't really have any questions in my year group, but I had, there was a girl in my senior, like, the year above me.

And she she was a Christian too.

And she came from Hong Kong, and she said, Grace, like, you know, are you how are you doing? As in how are you doing? Where's the little? And I'm like, no, well, I haven't read my bible for a month.

And she's like, It's okay.

Go and read it now, and I was like, okay.

It's like, oh, it's just so kind and giving me, like, you know, different people And I remember, there was a a talk actually at school, which is so it was a Christian school, and we used to go to church chatful 3 times, well, almost every day.

Yeah.

And it was something I remember from that was make the right decisions early in life.

And that really spoke to me because for me, that meant remember your creator in your youth.

And, I think the lord also has remembered my prayer, which has keep me in him, in you, lord throughout my life.

And I think the lord has remind me again and again, Grace, I have not forgotten your prayer.

Yeah.

And You don't need it's not like you're just holding onto rope.

I already have you.

You just need to you just need to come as you are and remain in me, but also remain in me.

It's not like, oh, okay.

I'm gonna just, you know, like, strive to remain in you, no, remain us in just just remain as as you are, which is wherever you are, whether your heart is cold, whether your heart is you know, fervent for me, wherever you are, come to me as you are and spend time with me as you and abide with me as you are and live for me as you are.

So the law has really taught me that, and like, there were periods.

I remember when I was uni, I was going through quite a difficult time, I would say.

Yeah.

And to a point where it was, yeah, it was quite hard, time in life where I just began to doubt about everything, I think.

So So I'm moving a bit forward from school to uni.

So when I was at uni, just to give you a bit of context, the school I went to was very, it was in the middle of nowhere, and it was a very safe environment.

And I never really questioned about my dent my identity as in I never really thought, oh, am I Chinese or I never really even thought that.

But the second I arrived in London from Gloucestershire, the taxi driver would ask me questions that would make me feel quite confused, like, you know, what are you? Are you Chinese? Are you, you know, etcetera? And it really rocked me, actually.

It really rocked my identity because I thought, well, no really asking me that.

Like, what is Chinese voice? I've always was English, because everyone, you know, who was around me was English.

And so I think I was English, and then No.

Like, are you Japanese? Are you Chinese? And I yeah.

So that was when I had of identity crisis, I think.

And at uni, I remember saying to my mom, I don't know who I am.

I feel so torn, so conflicted.

Like, who am I? Like, and mom said, Grace, you are a child of god.

That's your identity.

Yes.

It's not it, you know, whether you're Chinese, whether you're, you know, British.

And I remember, Yeah.

Like, just going back to a lord, like, lord, help me to remember who I am, which is I belong to you, and and also to be content with who I am, you know, if you would me being because you will have made me English, but you have made me as I am and helped me to not look at myself more than I should.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

And, so if if we take things to close at times.

Is there anything that you feel you've learned maybe after the the pandemic or in the last year or so? Anything specific? Yeah.

So, the word waiting really came up to me.

If you asked me, like, I guess, early in my life, like, Grace, you know, wait patiently before the law.

I'd be like, oh, stop it.

Like, I really hate the word waiting.

Even the word patient waiting, just send me, oh, it just makes me really agitated.

Like, why? Why? Why do I have to wait? Actually, we have been told to wait patiently for god.

Yeah.

And I would say COVID was a time where we had to learn how to and it was really interesting because it wasn't just wait for, you know, situation to improve.

So I was waiting for I was in a piss it was in a job that I was really, really not happy with.

And I think the law taught me I am waiting on who am I waiting on? Him? Who was him? He's the creator of heaven and earth, and he's also creative me.

So I am waiting on him, and whilst I wait, I am how am I gonna wait? Am I gonna wait, you know, watching YouTube? Am I gonna wait? Like, in a really kind of on my, you know, sofa bed? Or am I waiting expectant leave for him? And if I'm waiting expecting sleep for him? How should I what does that look like? And that re that really made me think, well, if that's the case, I'm not just waiting for him open a door for my job.

And, actually, this whole life is about, him preparing me to see Jesus face to face.

Yeah.

So the law really showed me, in the period of waiting, what it means to wait, and who am I waiting on waiting on him, and he it's in his time.

Yeah.

And he's the favorite 1, isn't he? He is the favorite 1, and he is, yeah, and, you know, fretting about things.

He keeps saying, lord, hurry up.

That's not a thing because it's, you know, he is It's his time, and he is god, and he made me.

He knows what's best.

And, yeah, waiting in the right, in the right way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's great.

And I think if you look at throughout your life, how he's provided different things as you needed.

Yes.

Depending on the time, it can it's really helpful to look back, isn't it? And just to see these little things, even even in your childhood before you knew him, personally Yes.

All these foundational truths that were laid out for you Yes.

Are really important on they.

Yes.

So so to finish with Could you give any advice to younger Christians or maybe anything you want to share with, a younger Christian? Yeah.

Sure.

So when I was thinking of this, I think the whole thing of just as I am.

I think when when I first came to know the lord, just found it really hard.

Like, lord, oh, I don't even know where you would start with refining me to be more like Christ because, like, it's just a mammoth amount of sends and, you know, even more than I, even can grapple with, but there's a hymn that really helped me when I just feel like I don't know how to even come to the law because I feel my heart is either really cold.

I've sinned 1000000000 of times or I've, you know, just feel like I'm so distant from the lord.

How do I come back to him? And I just want to encourage all myself as well, as well as, you know, anyone who's listening, particularly those who may have just, come to know the lord.

This is him, and I just wanna share first with you guys, which is just as I So just as I am, without 1 plea, but that your blood was shed for me, and that you bid me, come to you.

Olam of god, I come.

I come.

And let me just read 1, 1 more.

Just as just as I am and waiting not to red my soul of 1 dark blot to you whose blood can cleanse each spot.

A lamb of god, I come.

I come.

So I just I just wanna encourage, brothers and sisters in Christ to come as you are because Christ has, made us his own as we are we can.

Carl may accept him as we are.

Yeah.

That's really a beautiful truth to remember isn't it Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Thank you for sharing your story today.

That's all for today's episode sister stories everyone, but join us again next time.

.