Sister Stories - Cornerstone Church Kingston
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Sister Stories

This podcast encourages us to reflect on how the Lord has grown and moulded us into becoming more like Christ.

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S2 - 8. Kim B.

In this episode, I am interviewing Kim, who is married to Rory and is a mum of three teenage children. She works for TnT Ministries alongside her husband. Listen to hear about her experience as a wife and mother serving in the Church.

Transcript (Auto-generated)

Welcome everyone to the sisters stories podcast.

This podcast's aim is to marvel a god sovereignty over each of our lives as women and to encourage 1 another by sharing our stories.

My name is Sophie, and today I'm joined by Kim.

Hello? Hello.

So, Kim, can you tell us a little bit about who you are? My name is Kim, obviously.


And, I'm married to Rory And we have 3 older teenagers now.

Nathan, who's 15, 8, and 17 MS 19.


And what do you do? Many things.


I work part time for TNT ministries, I'm just helping with the translation of Italian things at the moment.

And, the other part of my job, which I don't really think is ever part time, is being a mom and, I've been homeschooling my kids.

Nathan's just busy with his last few GCSEs now, and then I'll have done that job so I can take that hat off.


That's that's quite a few years of digging that isn't here.



So we're going to be talking about, your journey to faith and your work with Christ.

But to start with, could you tell us about your family background? Well, I was born and raised in Cape Town.

My parents got divorced when I was 9 years old.

My mom later got remarried and had another 2 kids.

Do you have an older brother? But we essentially, we weren't raised as Christian children.

We had no knowledge of the Bible.

But in South Africa, growing up, you would have quite a bit of religious education in schools and and good stuff.

But it was only, and I moved schools quite a bit when I was a kid.

But it was only when I went to high school, that I fell in with a group of Christians.

It was a cool school.

And, And it was and it was it was, like, really weird because they had this they had, like, a great club.

It felt like a club that I wanted to be part of.

But I always felt I was on the outskirts of this, of this great club.

So, 1 day Kristen, my friend invited me a long to a talk that the youth pastor was doing.

And with a a very vivid illustration that he used based on John's esteem, I realized that, I realized that I'm a regular sinner and that I will be punished for that.

And And also the unbelievable miracle of Jesus death in my place that somebody would do that because I wasn't, raised in a home of unconditional love.

So it was a completely new concept.

So, yeah, that was really Wow.

Would you say that There was, how can I say this? Surely, there were things before that that drew you to that group.

So you said it felt like a club maybe it felt welcoming to be part of that Christian group or something, but were there other things that drew you to listening to to the things that were being said? Not necessarily, but but the girls did They had that very warm love that you see in a Christian family, like at the church or Like, at youth group, when I when I it's my turn to to bring the boys to, to root it, and we're always not doing it.

You can see that there's a a real love of each other that I I think is, is just incredible and the world sits on the outside seeing this and not quite understanding what it is, but being a Christian and having a relationship with the lord, you can see it It's part of his family, how we show our love to each other.

And No.

It's just an incredible, just an incredible, intangible thing, I think.


And you said that that wasn't truly present in your family that love.

So maybe that drew you to the group as well a little bit, or did you say that's Yes.


I I I had more of a foundation after becoming a Christian, but it was also really tricky because my family weren't Christian.

So, but so, I mean, how do I go to church? How do I and my my my mom was quite controlling.

So I felt I couldn't even ask.

But miraculously, my stepfather decided to you that we should start going to church, So we sort of detaining a reformed evangelical church quite close by.

And I never really got stuck into the youth group because it was still the entertainment model youth group, and it was just awkward.

I did not feel comfortable at all.

But You know, I went to church and, I tried to learn as much as I could, and spent a lot of time with my Christian friends at school.

They were running little bible studies during break and so on.

So I gleaned as much as I could out of that.


So, yeah, so I finished school and wasn't quite sure what to do.

So I decided to go to bible college for 3 years.

And while I was there, I realized that there's a real gap in the market for decent Sunday school material because what we were using was really What we were doing is ray raising morally upright pagans.

So it's a bit useless.

So, yeah, so I started getting involved in full time children's Wow.

And you're you're still doing that at the moment, aren't you? Yes.


Oh, that's amazing.

So how did you choose meats? Did you meet through that? Or It was match make match make.

My, Rory's minister was a good friend of my senior my senior pastor.

So at some big church meeting, he said to me, hey, there's this hot guy in my church.

Very good with kids.

I know so awkward.

But, anyway, I did this part.


Anyway, so, and, of course, Mike went in back and told Roy the same thing.

Well, You know, this is nice girl in Cape Town is good with kids.

And, and when I first met Rory, I wasn't, like, not really interested because, I mean, who does that? It's just too awkward.

But the in time, we spent, spent time together.

Rory came because Rory was living in Johannesburg.

He flew down to Cape Town to help me with my holiday club to be in a to be a leader, wink, wink, that's not bad.


So, and he was he was really good He was a strong male lead that I I hadn't seen before.

My dad was quite an absent dad, and my stepfather was a bit useless.

So, so it It made quite an impact on me.


And then 1 thing led to another, and here we are.


That's great.

So, obviously, you've made your way to the UK.

You've been here quite a few years.

He's 13 years.

Oh, that's quite So how did you come to arrive in Cornerstone and and yeah.

Ah, that is a great story.

Well, we, we'd been doing children's work because of of after we got married, we moved to Johannesburg, and Rory was working full time at a church there, and the church was growing quite quickly.

So eventually they after a few years, employed me to do chores with full time.

And then We were, we were there for a while, and we had used the TNT material that Tremantalia were producing here.

We had invited them around a few times to South Africa to do training, and the second time they came there, because I put dinner and asked if we'd like to take over the ministry here.

So so I went, so when we got home, we we said because they were staying with us.

We said good night and whatever.

So as we were behind closed doors, I was all very excited.

I said, don't worry.

Ah, let's go this.

What an opportunity this is And then, because I just had visions of myself walking through Richmond Park, like, in the setting of pride and prejudice, I'd always want to become here.

So, yes.

And then Roy said, but my love, and then he he gave, you know, immediately off the top of his head, 5 reasons why we couldn't come.

And then within a week, all those reasons fell away.

So it was clear the lord was clearly directing us in this path because we had said we'd been here in we've come to England's on kind of a holiday and made travel in Talia, and got a bit of material from them.

To take back to essay.

And and they had said, and and as you were leaving, I'd said to you, we're good goodness, wouldn't it be nice to do this full time? So it was just a number, you know, the lord leading us in an amazing way, and obviously moving here hard, with the children crying for their grandparents, and there's nothing you can do in this this this specific, just really it it was really tough.

Also, like, surviving on a South African salary until we had could cope, you know, to make making ends meet with the rand pound exchange being a shocker, not that it's ever got better, but anyway.

But let me think We knew we were coming to Cornerstone before we even landed here because Rory had been to a few churches, and had come away saying when he came back, home to Johannesburg said, like, he really thinks Cornerstone is the way to go.

And then, Tim Neil, when he was still at our church, and of of quite a few of the Cornerstone people, but Tim organized to put a little video together welcoming us.

So it were we received this video and we all got all the kids because Emma was she was 6:5:3.

So they all bundled onto our bed early on Sunday morning and watched the video from Cornerstone.

And it was just so sweet.

We had a few South Africans chatting.

We had and they had made sure that there was a like a girl in his age being interviewed and a little boy, Aidan's age, and it was just so precious where it's, you know, tears in my eyes thinking to myself, this is What a fantastic welcome.

So even before we came, we knew we were gonna be part of a an amazing family.

It was just Oh, that's amazing.



And so you've been you've been leading the the kids working for the students for quite a few years.

How has that gone throughout the years? How has that developed? What'd you say? We know we have a lot of kids at the moment.


Well, it's just been amazing.

It's not just because I've I've got a little a little the thing that I think about when I'm teaching is that we never know who the next Gladys Alwood or Don Carson or John Stott's going to be.

It could be in our church.

So we need to be doing it for a number of reasons, but not least of all, a really good job of of training these kids properly.

There's no reasons why they can't, get a really good theological education.

Early on and start grappling with issues in a, in a meaningful way.

But it's not just the love that I have for the children and and how grateful I am for the opportunity to be able to do what I love.

But also getting to know the leaders and, taking this journey with them because they're there's something about serving with each other that's, you know, that's really fantastic.

We're all in this together striving to to do the lord's work, or are they to encourage each other? It's it's it's a great team to be part of.

It's always a great choice.

My best days is Sunday.


And it's encouraging for us to see the kids grow up and and ask questions and and all of that, actually.


So it's it's great.

Isn't it? Isn't it? I mean, I'm part of that as well.

So it's very awesome.

Very happy to speak.



Is there anything as you join cornerstone that as a Christian, you felt you the lord taught you or was different from South Africa? Well, 1 thing comes to mind, but I'm not sure if I'm answering the question.

1 thing comes to mind is that, it's something that Fran said in the podcast that she did with you is that you might all be speaking English, but it's a different culture.

So we've definitely found that when we came here, but also I got to a point where I realized I'm being I felt personally that I was being selfish.

By expecting other people to understand me and to mind read how I'm feeling.


So I decided to to take on some advice, and a sort of South African friend who'd been here for a while, gave me.

And I started talking about the weather.

It's a great move.

It's a great move because it's made me realize it's not just not just quite frankly how people open up when you talk about the weather, which to me was a bit odd.

But if that was what I had to do to try and it was it was like an experience of, having their perspective, having the British And, also, I had, we were getting to know the glens, and we were very fond of them at I was telling Maggie the story once, we were in my kitchen when we still lived in Kingston.

And I said to her, old, I really found it hard I got to a point where I thought, let let's not be about me.

Let me actually just shut up and serve other people and be kind.

And not make it about me.

And then I turned around and and Maggie was in tears, and I was like, oh my I've said something awkward that I've offended my British friend now.

What's happened? And then she said she she knew that I look like a nice person to be friends with, but that probably due to the size of the church at that stage, People are coming and going, and she says she said that the the the people are the the people at church are getting to know new friends, foreigners, and then they leave.

And it's really hard for the church people that are left behind.


And I hadn't seen it from that point of view.

So, obviously, I cried and then we heard and whatever, but but it gave me a new perspective on on on how loving our church is by ex constantly accepting new people with open arms Knowing that that might get hurt when those friends leave.


Which, which again, makes me love and appreciate our church.

Very much.

I've got I've been meeting a lot of I mean, I meet quite a few non Christians, and and when they go when they say about, oh, was it really hard moving to the country.

Now I say, well, well, yes and no.

I'm part of a church family, so I'm fine.

I have I have grannies and aunties and uncles and loads of children and lots of nephews and nieces.

It's just it's just very precious to be part of it, and I'm very grateful for Yeah.

And I think that's, I mean, that happened to me as well, coming to the UK where from the beginning when I was a I felt that the church was my real family.


Because my family wasn't Christian.


So and then you come to a new church family in a way, in a new country, but it still feels the same as when I was in church in France.


And, I mean, not the same exact be, but there are so many things that are the same.

They transfer all.



So, I mean, I had an American pastor as well, so that might help.

That's in a way that, you know, there were so so many different, similar things, and that's why we can just rejoice that they are the different nationalities, and that we have Christ in common, which is the most important thing to have in common, actually.


Which is why it draws us together so strongly.


And and I sometimes also think that, you know, some some questions are more, exuberance in their, Yeah.

And their personality and their evangelism and everything that they say and you, but but I appreciate I appreciate the quieter people as well because I think I I don't think I don't think all the wiser Christian woman for me realized how how much they've impacted me.

I had to As a as a new question, and even when I was doing children's work in Cape Town, when I was new to the game, I looked at the old moms, and I watched what they did very carefully because I now had to learn what a Christian mother looks like, what a Christian wife looks like, different ideas of raising the children, what works, what doesn't work, what made it work, so, so, yes, just the, just the quiet, faithful serving the lord, being a wife, and being a mother, doesn't go unnoticed.



And that's what makes the church, isn't it? But we all need to do We we all want sorry.

We all have different roles in the church, but if we if we're not ready to serve and do that without grumbling and, you know, all the, you know, faffing around them.

We can do.

I think that's that's is not going to work, is it, and we're not going to have a church at the end of the day if we're not committed to it.


I said that slightly wrong No.

I know what you mean.

I know exactly what you mean.



So we've gone through quite a few different things, actually, but I wonder, if there if there are some specific lessons that you have learned, especially in these last couple years with COVID and and all the disruption to things that we've had.


I suppose From a COVID point of view, nothing really changed in my house, Rory's still in this office at the end of the block.

Everything was pretty much a motion.

But 1 thing I did learn was that, I suppose I suppose 1 thing I did learn is that, if you if you're a wife and a mom, well, that's that's my perspective.

You tend to absorb the family's emotions quite a lot.

So while everybody is struggling with COVID, you're there to put your arm around them and to try and help them deal with it.

So every now and again, I wanted to just explode with my own pent up frustrations.

So and I'm not, like, big on exercise, to be fair.

So So take it, Lori, and I taking out obligatory walk around the block, you know, just getting into exercise and to and to just Notice the little things, like beautiful roses.

I'll stop and smell the roses when for a walk or just appreciate the rain or the smell of the rain.

So I suppose it's using my senses, my god given senses to appreciate creation, and to just try and focus on just getting from 1 day to the next.


But also when things gets difficult for my children.

I have realized in the last while that I should take the advice that I give to them because Because I've tried to do intentional parenting to undo how I was raised, I I love Wingerie and I love them unconditionally.

And, you know, we do this.

We we we we books to try and help to Christian books to help us to be good Christian parents or do the best we can with what we've got available.

But but sometimes I find that when I give the kids advice, I don't take it on myself.

Just, you know, the the lords got this.

You are not alone in this.

God will strengthen you, you know, all those things that that I don't feel I deserve.

But, actually, I'm in the same boat.

I'm also a child.

Of Christ.



That's right.

And I think it's the same when we teach the kids in Sunday school that if if we did not prepare the study for ourselves, Absolutely.

We wouldn't be able to teach them.


Because we need to learn that.

And that's why we sew, we are able to say to them, actually, I had to deal with this this week as well, and I can show you what it looked like in my life Yes.

To help you, actually, as a younger person.


Or, you know, and I think it's a great way.

It's a great fact that we have that relationship with them.

It's a great thing that we can encourage them, and they encourage us, of course.


Of course.


It's in the same way.

You know? Yeah.





I agree.

Which is why the church is so precious because we have these different generations coming together.

They wouldn't necessarily talk to each other in normal life that much.

I know.

I know.

And it's normal.

Churches churches, normal people having normal problems and us helping each other through them, which is just great.


And so talking about that, is there any advice that you would like to pass on to younger Christians? Yes.

I guess Maurice mentioned a few things.




1 minister's wife, because I was I had I did this stint of being a minister's wife for a while.

And, 1 minister's wife, I sat on with her 1 day and I said, oh, I'm not the kind of business.

There's hundreds of goals, and it's just to overwhelm me.

And then she she put her hand on my hand and said, look me in the eye and said, my dear.

She said, look after your husband and remember that you're shown on your first mission field.

And I've never forgotten that because I'm I'm the kind of person who's completely over ambitious.

First on my list for jobs for the day is to say the rain forest, and then I'm bitterly disappointed if I can't do that.

So then after listening to her and looking her in the eye and taking it on board, I thought of myself, you know what? Let me just try and make a difference in my corner of the world.

So look off to my family, you know, and then what use whatever gifts and talents god has given me to serve the church and to just to just chill because I can't do everything.


I was just I'm I'm just called to do what I can do in my little corner, and that'll be good enough.

That's right.

And I think, yeah, we just we just called follow cries, don't we? So at the end of the day, as you say, there's nothing we can do for our salvation or for much, actually, in our nice if we don't trust in him.

So, yeah, I think that's that's really simple.

Patient perseverance, following those that have gone before.





Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Kim.

And thank you everyone for Nick.

That's it for today's episode of Sister's stories.

But join us again next time.


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