Sister Stories

Transcript (Auto-generated)

Welcome everyone to the sister stories podcast.

The aim of this podcast is to marvel at god's sovereignty over each of our lives as women, and to encourage each 1 another by sharing our stories.

My name is Sophie, and today I'm joined by Chris.

Hi.

Nice to nice day.

Join you today, Sophie.

Lovely to have you.

Okay, can you start by telling us who you are? I'm Chris Striden.

Mary Tadeem, who works, for the church.

And we have, 5 children.

I work part time for commission.

And and involved in lots of ministries at Cornerstone.

Great.

So we can just start by your family backgrounds.

Can you tell us, so let's bit about how you were brought up.

Yeah.

So I'm from a fairly large ish family compared to most families.

I have, 3 brothers.

The 2nd oldest in my family.

My parents were Christians are Christians.

They were raised by Christian parents as well.

So quite, you know, heritage of Christianity in our family and always involved in ministry.

My parents were usually involved in music ministries, and in and out of various.

They were teachers as well.

Some teaching sometimes teaching in Christian schools, sometimes not.

So I've always been a part of Christian culture, Christian community.

Yeah.

And, we lived in America for a while.

Most of my life that we also spent 3 years in Africa in Nigeria.

My parents were missionaries there.

Right.

Okay.

So Wow.

It did quite a lot of things then.

They did.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I wonder what it was like, growing up in your house, and, you said you were clearly involved in the church throughout your childhood.

So can you tell give give us a little bit more information about that? Yeah.

So church every Sunday, we went to various different denominations of churches growing up.

There were some that were I remember going to a brother in church.

It was quite strict, and everyone was at prayer meeting and on Wednesday.

Even the children.

And, Sunday was, you know, the morning service and the evening service.

I it's funny I don't remember any like, home groups or bible studies, but I just remember we were involved in church.

And my parents usually led the choir quite often doing tours with choir ministries taking music groups around, and doing that.

So that was my younger years.

And then as I, became a teenager, got involved with youth group Mhmm.

And, well, actually, before that, growing up as a child, we did a program called Awana, which is where you it's like a weekly group where you learn a lot of Bible memorization, which is really helpful in my later years.

And then teenager going to youth group, serving on a youth ministry team doing missions trips.

So our life revolved around.

Well, my life revolved around church.

Mhmm.

And most of my family's life did as well.

It was just normal.

I can't even think of not going to church on a Sunday that just felt.

So Yeah.

Strange.

Yeah.

Did you have friends around you that they were not Christians or were you mostly surrounded by Christians? During my younger years, so primary school age, I would say mostly Christian went to various small Christian schools.

Mhmm.

And then when we lived in Africa, surrounded by mostly missionaries or missionary families Mhmm.

Went to a Christian school only knew Christians and some of the local people, but most of them are also Christians as well.

Yeah.

And then, when we've returned to the states when I was 10 going on 11.

I went to a Christian school when we came back, and then my parents couldn't afford it.

And so I ended up going to this state school, and that's when I started, mixing more with non Christians.

So late middle school.

So trying to think what years that would be 6 through 8, I think.

And then high school, I started out in a public high.

So I had a mix of friends from school, who were mostly non Christian, but knew that I was Christian.

Mhmm.

And then had a really good solid group of friends at church, and was quite involved there.

So yeah.

And then, I went to a Christian University So I was mostly surrounded by Christians, but had a good, had a good foot in the world, I would say, with some non non Christians in school and also some of my brother's friends and things like that.

So Yeah.

So with that influence with that Christian influence in your life, how, how personal was this faith for you when you were young? I made a decision for Christ at 4 years old.

And I went to a Christian preschool.

My parents were teachers, and it was a preschool through, you know, university, actually.

Oh, wow.

And my teacher, was talking about the only way we can go to him.

So my parents for Christians Yep.

Brought up in a Christian family.

My teacher in my class was talking about how we can't get to heaven unless we asked you just forgive us of our sins, and that we all needed to do that.

And at that time, I asked my teacher to talk with me a little bit more and pray with me.

And that's when I accepted Jesus as my savior.

And that night, per meeting.

I don't know why I was at per meeting.

It was, you know, quite old school, really.

They did an alter call at prayer meeting.

Oh, wow.

And I took my 5 year 4 year old little self, walked up to the front and, prayed with someone at the front of church because I wanted god to know that I meant business.

So that that was when I was 4.

Obviously, I grew in my faith and life experience and family circumstances changed.

And when I was 12 years old, my parents were going through a divorce.

And I realized that I needed to make this, you know, decision for myself, not just because this is what my family does.

This what everybody around me does, but my faith needs to be my own.

And so that year, I decided to I get baptized as well.

And really from now on out, I've been walking, you know, it's I've known Like, I have a relationship with with Jesus.

Yeah.

And it's my relationship.

It's not based on my family Yeah.

Or anything else.

Did you say that when you were 4, you were thinking it's I'm doing this because I'm parts of the center.

Knew.

It's all I knew.

But I and I knew that I was a sinner.

Yeah.

You know, I knew that I needed forgiveness.

So it wasn't just like, oh, I just keep doing what everybody else is doing I knew that I had to make a decision at 4 years old to seek forgiveness.

But that's all I need.

We were very involved in ministry.

I didn't really know anyone who didn't go to church.

Yeah.

So you know, as I grew, I understood a bit more and felt that relationship more and my need for Jesus when my parents were divorcing.

My dad is he's passed away last year.

But it was not a good, On the outside, to people looking into our family, they thought we were a wonderful Christian family.

But my dad was abusive.

And that's when I realized, okay.

Like, things are the Christian life is not all rosy.

And Yeah.

You know, and that I need Jesus.

And I was pretty devastated at that age as well.

To understand really what was happening in my family.

So yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it was So I would say, again, it was just kind of what we did as a family.

I don't ever remember not believing in god.

But I do remember at 4 years old knowing that I needed forgiveness that I was a sinner.

And then Sort of 4 through 11, 12 was when it was just this is just what we do.

I didn't think too much about it.

Mhmm.

You know, I memorized Bible versus from Awana and was praised for doing that, but it wasn't personal, personal.

But it and it was when you know, pre teen years, teenage years when I realized that my family wasn't what I thought it was.

And my parents were going through a divorce.

There was a few times of separation.

And I was starting to struggle with, you know, what was going on in my life.

And who do I turn to who can be there? You know, because my dad who I I really did think was a good guy.

I realized then that He he wasn't such a good guy.

He made some terrible decisions, and he was very hurtful.

And and, he was abusive in many ways.

And yet, he called himself Christian.

Yeah.

And so during that time was when I started realizing that you know, god is who he says he is.

If he does love me, if he is, you know, our loving heavenly father, I want to know a little bit more about him.

I want to understand that on a in a more personal way.

Yeah.

And so that's that's, I would say, 11 to 12 is when I started to feel that real whole of I've got to understand this faith as my own.

And to sort of seek out.

That's when I I was baptized at 12.

And then started really getting involved in in ministry and and wanting to seek out a deeper relationship with Christ.

And you you did, pray pray the prayers, let's say, around 4, wasn't it? Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I prayed with my preschool teacher.

Yeah.

Missus Evans.

And then that night of her meeting, I prayed with 1 of the people at church I think they took me through the ABC prayer, so accept, believe, confess.

Mhmm.

And, I mean, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Yeah.

That's amazing.

That must have been really encouraging for the people at the for a meat scene.

I do often think, what did these people think about? Because, you know, if a 4 year old were to get up, and go to the front nowadays and be like, I want to pray with someone.

Everyone would be amazed.

And I'm thinking, I don't I actually don't even remember having a conversation with my mom about what I did.

Like, what was she thinking? Maybe that's I should ask her next step by step.

Yeah.

That's a good question, actually.

Let us know.

Great.

Okay.

And then, obviously, you moved to Nigeria.

How what did you think about that movement? How did how did that feel really? Yeah.

So that was interesting.

So my dad, because of his personality and, his poor decisions in life.

Let's just say, he he needed a job and a job became available overseas, as a guidance counselor at a school in Nigeria.

And so they accepted this family of 6 to go there.

So I was thinking I was going to live in a mud hut.

My parents didn't really talk I don't know.

Maybe they did talk and I just didn't hear what they were saying, but we got to Nigeria.

And we were live we lived in a nice compound.

You know? And that was quite an experience to get to know people from other cultures.

Christians from other cultures.

You know, I was raised in American churches, very, very, conservative American churches.

So to go to Nigeria, and to mix with other cultures.

Mhmm.

And other Christian cultures, was really interesting, and I think really opened my eyes to the world and also that that, Christians aren't just Americans.

That that actually, you know, that the gospel is worldwide.

Yeah.

And so that was quite an amazing experience.

How old were you when you went? So it was 8 when I went there.

Yeah.

And then we were there for 3 years.

So it was just finishing 10, almost turning 11 when we came back.

So, yeah, some, you know, good memories have been made.

And, Again, I saw it through a child's eyes.

So now when I talk with my brothers or my mom about our time in Africa, I hear stories that, oh, wow.

I didn't realize, like, that happened.

You know? I was just a child having a good time.

Yeah.

That's nice.

Excuse.

Grace.

If we just go chronologically, so then you went back to the US Mhmm.

Went through school, and and what did you do after school? So, finished high school and then went to, well, in the States, it's called college, but university.

Was studying to be a teacher.

Mhmm.

That's what I wanted to do always and, went to a Christian university for a year or so, but couldn't afford to keep going.

So I had to take some time off and work.

So I was working and going to school part time.

I was teaching in a little and a Christian preschool while going to, university.

And it was during that time that, we My youth pastor in the states, was very involved in missions and have real had a real heart for missions.

And so the years leading up to, before I graduated from high school, he had instilled in us this passion for permissions.

And also because my parents had been missionaries, so I had been on the Mission Field.

I had this, a heart for missions, I would say.

Yeah.

So we went to several missions trips within the states.

And then the year that I graduated from high school, we came to London.

On a mission's trip.

And, that was in Fulham and got to know, church there, people at a church there.

So in between.

So I was working, going to school, really wanting to do some more, ministry admissions.

And, kept coming back to London in the summers.

To work with a church there.

And that's when I met Dean.

Mhmm.

And after a couple summers of visiting, we were engaged.

So then I quit university much to my parents.

Dismay because I wanted to get married.

Yeah.

So I worked full time teaching at a nursery school In London or No.

In the state.

In the states.

Yeah.

And then after that, I got married.

I moved here.

Right.

So it's okay.

Yeah.

Quite big move again.

Yeah.

It was a big move.

And, I mean, it's funny because the first time I came to London on a mission strip, I thought, oh, I don't really wanna come back here.

Nothing appealed to me.

You know, being from Florida, sunshine, beaches, lots of space.

And I was spent a couple of weeks in London going, that's nice, you know, but I do not really see why anyone would want to live here.

And god has changed my heart on that as well.

Good to know.

Otherwise, if he's stuck in a place where Exactly.

Yeah.

So you've been here for how long now? Sorry.

No.

That's fine.

I've been here for in October.

It will be 28 years.

Wow.

So I've actually lived here longer than anywhere else.

Yeah.

In my life.

Yeah.

And you are enjoying it just to check.

Well, I do into I it's home.

I do struggle with the weather, and I have to say you know, this time of year, I start to get very miserable if the sun's not out.

But, you know, trusting god with that as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's great.

Good.

So, yeah, I think I think just just to see a little bit what, what god has taught you over the years, really, So you're obviously married now, and you've got 5 kids.

So you've I'm sure you've lent a lot.

I mean, you're not that as well.

So, Yeah.

We've talked a little bit about you early life, but maybe, yeah, more recently, what I've got taught you through getting, having children and marriage, obviously, and and maybe more recently as well.

Yeah.

I mean, that's taught me so many things.

There's, like but I think narrowing it down and reflecting over my life you know, the I've always god's always brought me to a place in so many times in my life where he says Chris, your plans are not my plans.

Yes.

You know, I had my life planned out.

I thought I was going to finish my degree in the states, teach in the school that that I grew up in, you know, stay in my nice little comfortable area, and god said, hey.

How about going to London and meeting this guy? And moving away from your family and, you know, serving me here in this place that you loved so much when you first came.

And so, so that was a big thing.

And then over the years, you know, with children with different, going through different ministry opportunities, you know, some good things, some bad things.

So many times.

I've thought, okay.

We've got this planned out.

I've got this planned out.

I know where I'm going.

I know what I want to do.

Know how I want to raise my kids.

My kids are gonna do this, that, and the other.

And god says, have you forgotten that I'm in charge? Yeah.

You know, and he brings me back to trusting in him and saying to me, my plans are better than your plans.

And trust me on that.

And sometimes it doesn't feel like his plans are very good.

Mhmm.

Because they're really hard to work through thinking about You know, so university thinking, I'll teach here.

It'll be nice and comfortable.

No, Chris.

You're gonna move to London.

You're gonna get married and move away from your family.

And then, various ministry experiences raising children You know, they don't come with a manual.

You have to work through some hard things.

Yeah.

And, you know, and then when we left the church that we were at for 16 years and and we're doing a church plant in Royhampton.

And that was hard.

We moved away from our comfort zone.

And, we had to raise support, and then we didn't have enough support to last very long.

Yeah.

Dean had to get another job.

And at the same time, we found out we were pregnant with our 5th child, which was a total surprise.

And and I remember having a conversation with god saying, you say you're good.

You say your plans are good.

How can this be good? My husband doesn't have a job.

I already have 4 children that I'm struggling with.

I have to work.

I can't keep doing all of this.

And then you decide that it's a good thing for us to have another child.

Yeah.

And that was a really hard thing to work through.

Yeah.

And and it's hard to admit that I struggled to not see another child as a blessing when I know so many people struggle, you know, with having children.

But god is good, and he is faithful.

And he's taught me a lot through having through having, you know, a 5th child, you know, he has blessed us.

And I look back and think, gosh, if we didn't go through all of that, we wouldn't be where we are today.

Yeah.

And I think we're in such a Lovely place.

And I still think, well, it doesn't mean that my life is easy because god's still saying to me at various things.

Oh, You think you're in control of that? Yeah.

Of course, have we not learned this lesson yet? Yeah.

It takes, well, I don't think we ever can learn it in this life.

No.

I mean, I'm I thought it's something.

Yeah.

I tell myself all the time.

Sure I've been here before.

Why am I so stubborn? But it's been good because I think that's thing is if we get I tend to get quite self reliant And, god will often bring me back to a place of trust me.

Yeah.

You're not in control, and and that's actually a good thing.

Yeah.

No.

That's for sure.

I just realized, obviously, we've skipped forward too.

The end, almost.

But, no, but, if we go back a tiny tiny bit, but, in terms of, yeah, what ministries were you involved with, How yeah.

That kind of thing, how did you get involved in Cornerstone as well? Yeah.

So, Dean and I have always been involved in youth ministry and Children's Ministry.

We did that at Twine Home for about 16 years.

Dean led the youth group.

In our supported his ministry there.

And we did we'd led the Sunday school.

We did lots of other things as well.

Mhmm.

But sort of youth and children's has always been a part of our our heartbeat, really.

And then even when we were doing the church plant, we were involved in youth and children's work.

And then, when when that fell through, and we had to move on from that and and we're having this 5th child.

Mhmm.

We needed to live near we really needed to live where there is some support for us.

So Yeah.

Dean had some family in Chasington.

So it was either moved further out of Clinton or back into London where Dean's parents were.

So we moved to Chasington, and we're trying to find a church to go to.

We had connections with lots of churches, and tried a few.

And when we came to Cornerstone and they had to get out more chairs for us, there wasn't enough chairs.

You know, and then our children were, especially our teenagers, were welcomed in.

It was a church lunch day and the youth team kind of took our kids and invited them to sit with them and just welcomed them in.

Yeah.

And, we went home from church that day, and we're talking with the kids about various churches.

That we had been to, and they said that they really liked Cornerstone.

And we liked it too because it didn't have it all together.

We've been to some other churches that were well established and, you know, there was plenty of seats for people to come in and but we like the fact that We walked in and there was this scramble to get chairs out.

But Yeah.

They weren't looking at us like, oh, this is such a bother.

It was great.

Come 1 in, be a part of us.

And and we felt that we could really get stuck in at Cornerstone, and we didn't have to have it all together.

In order to come.

That's great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's that's a nice deal, isn't it? Cause it's like an extension of of your family, obviously.

So Exactly.

Yeah.

Exactly.

And because we had had such a tough year, the year before being at a small church plant, our kids being the only there was there was another family there But our kids basically being the only kids there, the only teenagers being watched very carefully.

Yeah.

We needed a place where we could come and and be ministered to you, but also where we felt that we could serve as well.

And we definitely felt that at Cornerstone when we first came.

So it was great.

It was it was wonderful.

Oh, lovely.

To finish with, if you have if you had any advice to give to younger Christians, what would you say to them? Well, I would say hold your plans, Lucy.

Very loosely.

I've said this so many times over the last few years.

You know? This is my plan, but I'm holding on to it loosely because I know that god likes to, remind me that he has a better plan.

Yeah.

And it's hard, you know, thinking even recently in the last few months with, Lucas and secondary and what we were gonna do.

And I had a plan, and I think it's a really good plan.

And it seems like it should work out well.

But I was reminded in several of my conversations with different people.

You know, god likes to show his plan and and that I need to hold this loosely.

And I think that's helped as well with you know, the plan's changing.

So he's right now, he's not going to the secondary school that we hoped he went to.

I'm gonna be continuing to homeschool.

And I think that helped to make that disappointment easier knowing you know, it's okay because god has shown me time and time again throughout my life that his plans are better.

Even though it doesn't look good at the time or it doesn't on paper, you think this doesn't make sense.

But if I continue to trust him and, you know, he is faithful and he has a good plan for me, That doesn't mean it's not gonna be hard.

Yeah.

And and I think that's so alongside with, you know, hold your plans loosely, I've heard, a podcaster listen to, say this and actually she wrote a book and it says, hard is not the same thing as bad.

And I think, wow, that that's my life.

Yeah.

And we know he refines us, doesn't he? So we it's going to be hard to be refined into something better.

It's not going to be easy.

So, yeah, that Yeah.

That's great advice.

Thank you.

So thank you so much for sharing your story with us today.

That's all for today's episode of sister stores, but join us again next time.

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