Everyday Cornerstone

Transcript (Auto-generated)

Welcome back to the Cornerstone Church podcast, and thanks for joining us again for this episode.

This podcast was first recorded at 1 of our women's breakfast, and it was a really special morning where Rose, 1 of our long standing members at Cornerstone, came and spoke to us about her daughter Heather, who was diagnosed with Rett Syndrome as a small child.

And the impact that Heather had on the whole family and many others is quite amazing.

There was also a short Q and A session at the end, and we left it in for you as the answers were very practical about what to do or not to do to help families with children with additional needs.

So we hope you find this episode moves you and encourages you as it did us.

Morning.

Okay.

So I do want to start.

Can you hear me okay? Is that alright? Actually with a trigger warning, which is we are going to be talking about a child dying.

And I know there are, I know personally a few people who have lost a child, but just to make you aware of that.

Okay? So my name is Rose in case you don't know me, married to Steve, and we have 3 children Michael, who's 24, Connor, who's 20, and Elouise, who's 15.

But we did have a 4th child, our eldest, a daughter named Heather.

Heather was born on 7th January 1992.

She was a much wanted and much loved baby.

At the age of 2, she was diagnosed with a genetic condition called Wett Syndrome.

There was no indication that anything was wrong in the 1st few months of her life.

She was alert, smiley, she was reaching her milestones.

But that is the typical pattern for Rett Syndrome.

The child predominantly girls, develops apparently normally for the 1st 6 to 18 months, and then they regress.

Progress and skills that had been acquired were lost.

Heather lost speech, balance, the ability to feed herself, and so on.

She never learned to walk and was reliant on others for all her needs.

Rett Syndrome has been described like this.

Imagine the symptoms of autism, cerebral palsy, Parkinson's, epilepsy, and anxiety disorder, all in 1 child.

To say that we were devastated is an understatement.

The future we thought we would have as a family was suddenly snatched away.

As the singer, John Lennon once said, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Or as god's word says in Proverbs 16 verse 9, we can make our plans, but the lord determines our steps.

It may seem odd, but we never really asked why us, why our child? Well, why not us? We tend to think that things like this happen to other people, and that's true.

This time, though, we were the other people.

After getting the diagnosis, Steve and I went away for a few days to try and process the news, and my parents looked after Heather for us.

As shocking as it may seem, we both agreed it would have been easier if they'd told us that Heather was going to die.

At least we'd know what we were facing.

But Rett Syndrome was an unknown quantity.

What would the future look like for Heather and for us? Should we have other children? What if another child had rats too? There was little information on the condition at that time, and what there was was incredibly grim and depressing and very much written from a medical standpoint.

There was no information about other families with red children, and it's so important for families to connect.

To support 1 another, swap advice, to know we're not alone.

Whilst we didn't know why it happened to Heather, Personally, I had to believe it was for a reason.

If there was no purpose to it at all, then I was sunk.

So often people focus on the mother of special needs children, often because she is, in many cases, the main caregiver.

But fathers are affected too, of course.

And often, they don't have the tools to process the emotion that comes with finding out that their child is disabled, After all, society has told men for generations that they must be the strong ones, stiff up a lip and all that.

The diagnosis affects Steve deeply.

He voiced his thoughts like this.

He said, it feels like I wanted a daughter so much that there had to be a price.

And and this 1 still gets me.

I'm her daddy and I couldn't protect her.

We had to grieve the child Heather wouldn't be.

And embrace the child that she was.

We came back from that time away with renewed determination to give our precious daughter the best quality of life we could.

Intellectually Heather was bright and alert.

She clearly understood what was being said to her.

But the ability to reply with words had been taken from her.

She was able to communicate to a degree by looking at pictures or words printed on cards in response to questions.

But of course, that method had its limitations.

Sure.

She could indicate if she was hungry or tired, bored, happy.

But in response to, are you sad? If she looked at the yes card, she had no means of being able to talk it through or pour her heart out.

And we could offer no real solace because we didn't know the cause of her distress.

All we could do was hold her and weep with her.

Heather taught us that we take so many of god's gifts for granted.

Speech being 1.

Nowadays, there is technology that allows girls and women with right, as well as people with other disabilities, the ability to communicate and truly have a voice.

And I'm thankful for that progress.

Due to her lack of mobility, there was a big impact on her health.

Poor muscle tone led to a scoliosis or curve in her spine.

And lack of weight bearing resulted in her developing osteoporosis the age of 11, a condition where the bones have thinned and is usually seen in women in their seventies eighties.

And it made her prone to fractures.

She endured a great deal.

She was extremely susceptible to chest infections, was admitted to the hospital more times than I could count.

We even joked that we could probably pay for a room with all the x-ray films that we'd got from her.

She was ventilated that is put on life support in intensive care, 23 times over the course of her life.

She had 3 fractures, 2 in her legs, 1 in her arm.

Spinal surgery to correct the scoliosis And she had a gastrostomy fitted so she could be fed through a tube directly into her stomach when swallowing food orally became too unsafe for her.

The danger being that she would aspirate or breathe in particles of food into her lungs and end up with pneumonia.

She had chest physio to keep her lungs clear and suctioning to clear her airways.

Between the ages of 6 and 11, she would be in hospital still on average 6 months out of every year.

She was classified as life limited, which meant she wasn't expected to reach adulthood.

At 1 point, the doctors estimated she wouldn't live beyond 11 years old, but it's god who numbers our days.

And he would decide when he'd call her home, not the doctors.

I would like to add here how amazing the doctors and nurses were that were involved in her care over the years.

They became our 2nd family, and we have nothing but love, respect, and gratitude, even after all this time.

Now I don't want you to take away the idea that Heather's life was some terrible, miserable, depressing existence.

It really wasn't.

She loved life, really loved it.

She had a smile that lit up the room, such an infectious laugh, and she had a wicked sense of humor.

I don't know where she got back.

She loved her brothers, particularly Michael, because they were close in age.

Though she made it very clear she wanted a little sister too.

And thankfully, Elouise came along 9 months before Heather died, so she got to see her little sister.

She loved toys, music, her friends, she loved school, weird, but she loved being with people, horse riding.

And as she got older, going to concerts, makeup, clothes, boys, she was fundamentally a normal who grew into a normal team with typical teen interests, she just had a lot of extras.

It's really hard to explain unless you'd met her, but people were drawn to her.

When she was little, we used to joke that if 3 wise men turned up, we wouldn't be surprised.

People who met her never forgot her.

She really did have a spirit about her from day 1.

Though she had no voice, she spoke with her eyes.

And if the eyes are the windows to the soul, you could see her soul clearly every time she looked at you.

Now despite our personal beliefs, we did start taking Heather to a local church when she was about 4.

Primarily for the social aspect.

It was a small Anglican church.

The congregation was mostly older women who absolutely doted on her, and she lapped that up, of course.

But also part of it was kind of tradition.

Let me explain You see, Steve and I were part of that generation where the majority of people still went to church every Sunday.

And if the parents didn't, they kicked their kids out the door to go to Sunday school, which was the case for me and my brother.

It was a time when schools had Christian assembly every morning.

And most children knew the lord's prayer by heart as a result.

I also knew that I didn't want Heather following my spiritual path.

God was at work, of course.

He had laid out the plans for each member of our family.

We just didn't know that then.

So I would say nighttime prayers with Heather, even though my own devotions were to the enemy.

Through the stories and songs she heard at that church, Heather came to love the lord Jesus.

Honestly, I think she knew him from the beginning.

I know that may sound fanciful and perhaps not biblical, but I think her heart was his from the moment she came into this world.

If asked, do you love Jesus? She would look directly at her yes card and a huge smile would be on her face.

I know for a fact that my maternal grandparents were devout Christians, and that they prayed for the family constantly and for future generations.

Prayer is powerful, and god hears our prayers.

Thessalonians 5 verses 16 to 18, rejoice always, pray without ceasing.

Give thanks in all circumstances.

For this is the will of god in Christ Jesus for you.

God wants us to pray.

It's not a duty or a burden.

It's a joy and a privilege.

A direct line to the god of all things and we who are in Christ make whole father.

So be praying for your family and friends for the lost.

Pray for future generations.

Be bold in your prayer life because he is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.

According to his power that it has worked within us.

The doctors thought Heather wouldn't live beyond 11 years.

She confounded the law and lived to 16.

At which point, she was diagnosed with chronic respiratory failure.

Her body could no longer exchange her gases.

So instead of oxygen in and carbon dioxide out, it was oxygen in carbon dioxide building up in her bloodstream, slowly killing her.

There had been signs that something had changed.

She was more tired.

She was sleeping more to the point that she couldn't go to school, and Don't forget she loved school.

But we still weren't prepared for the news nor the prognosis.

She may have 2 months left maximum.

4 weeks to the day from receiving that news, Heather died.

As far as I know, there is no single word in the English language that describes a parent who has lost a child.

We have words like widow, widower, orphan, to describe the status of people who have lost a spouse or parents, but not for someone whose child has died.

It's as though the concept of a parent outliving their child is so horrific that we cannot put a name to it.

I have lost loved ones, grandparents, parents, friends, but the pain of losing a child is different.

For those of you here who have experienced such a loss, you will know what I mean.

The grief pours out like a torrent like an animalistic roar, at least it did for me, because it feels like your heart has been physically ripped from your chest, and there is no comfort to be had.

Jeremiah 13 verse 15, thus says the lord.

A voice was heard in Rama.

Lamitation, and bitter weeping.

Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted because they are no more.

It's a loss that we and our extended family have never fully recovered from.

Heather died on Tuesday 15th July 2008 at 9:37 AM, but to Melzer House hospice in Kent.

Steve and I were with her.

We were stroking her hair, kissing her, telling her we loved her over and over.

And we told her it was okay to let go and go to Jesus.

And I know without a doubt that her final exhale here was immediately followed by her first inhaled in heaven face to face with her savior.

Children's hospices are very special places.

They're very much places of life and laughter, actually, providing respite for the family and a chance for the young person to have some independence away from family.

Palliative care is part of the hospice service.

When the care they gave Heather during life and at her death was phenomenal, Heather had a good death.

Pain free, and with her loved ones by her side.

They also gave us the opportunity to do something that would have been commonplace in this country, well, quite a few generations ago, not so commonplace now.

About an hour after she died, Our nurse helped Steven me to wash Heather's body.

We shampooed her hair.

We dried her.

We anointed her body with her favorite body lotion, dressed her in her favorite clothes, dried her hair, and sprayed her favorite perfume on her.

Being able to tend to Heather's body ourselves was so important.

No 1 else would touch her, except a placer in her coffin.

Now as a Christian, I can appreciate just how important it was for Mary Magdalene and the other women to want to anoint and prepare Jesus's body properly for burial.

It was the final act of love that they could do for their lord.

It was 1 of the final acts of love we could do for our daughter, and it remains a precious memory.

I wish I could say that Heather's passing brought about a miraculous turnaround in me and Steve, and we instantly became Christians as a result.

That wasn't the case.

That took another 5 years, but the lord in his kindness and mercy did bring salvation to our house.

To me, Steve, our 3 other children.

My mother reaffirmed her faith even in the grip of Alzheimer's.

And my dad was saved a month before he died at the age of 80.

And I'm trusting god for my brother's salvation too.

Heather changed the lives of so many people, just by being herself, weak in the eyes of the world, perhaps.

But strong Christ.

And we are quite literally, eternally thankful for that.

So What have I learned from those years with Heather? And what do I hope you would take away from this? I've learned that god is sovereign, not me.

And that it is often only in times of suffering, those life and death moments that we truly realize that.

CS Lewis wrote, pain insists upon being attended to.

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains.

It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

I've learned that god doesn't make mistakes.

Heather having ret syndrome was not an error on god's part.

He didn't make her wrong.

He knit her together in the womb, and she was fearfully and wonderfully made, created for his good purpose, and he had a plan for her life.

I've learned that we don't always remember that god has a bigger picture in mind when we go through trials and suffering, And if you haven't experienced any major trials yet, rest assured you will because we live in a broken world.

But there is that bigger picture, and we must trust god for it.

I've learned that suffering is not without purpose.

For those who are in Christ, we suffer with the knowledge that ultimately in this life or the next, all will be fully restored and not just restored, but made perfect.

CS Lewis again, there are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

Through caring for Heather, I learned that love is not some romantic sweet sunshine and roses thing.

It's doing your utmost best for another.

No matter what the personal cost.

It's putting your own comfort aside for another It involves daily self sacrifice.

Love is a promise and a covenant.

I've learned the prayer is the most powerful thing we have I've learned that for those who are in Christ, there are no final goodbyes.

I've learned that if god can use a teenage girl, who had no speech, no mobility, was utterly reliant on others for her needs 247.

And yet still be able to touch people's lives and be instrumental in bringing others to Christ, we have no excuse not to reach out to the lost with the words of life.

I've learned she don't need to be a preacher or a theologian to do this.

Just be kind.

Meet people where they're at.

No judgment.

Make friends with your neighbors.

Share a meal, share life, and pray for them.

And ask god to give you the right words at the right time, and he will.

I've learned to say with conviction, the lord gives and the lord takes away blessed be the name of the lord.

Because whatever happens, I know I can trust the giver.

He does all things for the good of those he loves.

And even after her death, god continued to use Heaven to work hack's plan and to touch people still.

And I'm going to finish with these 2 examples.

A year or so after Heather died, an acquaintance who was not a Christian suggested that we took the boys to church.

Apparently, hearing about heaven and angels might help them to grieve.

No mention of Jesus, but hey.

So I went online and googled churches.

The first church that came up was Cornerstone.

And it said they met at Beatles with school.

They then followed some coincidences that became slightly troubling.

1, Beedlesford was Heather school, and I never knew a church met there.

So when I walked into the Sunday service, it was the first time I'd been back since Heather's death.

2, I met a lady called Tony, who was 1 of the Sunday school teachers, and, she said she was a deputy head of a special needs school.

I forgot to mention that a year after Heather died, the boys were diagnosed as autistic.

So I was expecting rejection.

You know, we can't handle your kids no.

Come in.

Bring them.

It's fine.

I'm a special needs teacher.

Okay.

3, she wasn't just deputy head of a special school.

She was deputy head of the special school Heather was going to go to in September had she lived, and she knew Heather's name, although she hadn't met her.

4, I met Pete, who was very welcoming and certainly not outwardly phased by the fact that I was a Satanist, And as I started taking the children and then Steve came along to church as well, I do want to say here that as a family, We were never shown anything but love, kindness, and patience from the people at Cornerstone.

Of course, I found out a few years later that it was awful lot of prayer going on behind the scenes.

And 5, we're still here 13 years later.

And a second and final example Last year, we went to see a band called My Chemical Romance, Heather's favorite band.

We could never get tickets when she was alive due to their huge popularity.

Anyway, they were touring again.

We got tickets.

And while we were waiting for them to come on stage, I got talking to the young woman sitting next to me.

Her name is Catherine, and she was in her mid twenties.

And we started swapping stories about why this event was so special to us.

I told her about Heather and how I'd wish she could be here and how I would definitely cry when her favorite tune came on, a song called The Black Parade.

And then she told me that she had wanted to see the fans of the team, but she was brought up in a very, very strict pentecostal Christian family.

And I think her mom was wrong in this.

Her mom told her that the music was evil.

It's not they're just a rock band.

And that if she loved Jesus, she would not go and see them, and she loved Jesus, but she also really loved that band and but she didn't go.

So finally, here she was coming to see them play.

I explained that we were Christians, and we got lots of wrong cons rock concerts.

Then I really did feel moved in my spirit to say to her, look, please don't disregard the message or judge Jesus.

Because your mum got it wrong and hurt your heart.

Jesus loved you then, and he loves you still, even at a my chemical romance gig.

And her eyes filled with tears.

And then she started sobbing and smiling at the same time and said, thank you.

I really needed to hear that.

And we hugged, and Ida said to her, you know, Jesus loves you, go back to Jesus, you know, find a church.

She's come, yeah, yeah, maybe not your mom's church.

She Yeah.

And I have to say that whilst the concert was awesome, And I did shed some tears when Heather's favorite song came on.

Experiencing firsthand, god still using Heather's story to connect us with other people.

And to share the love of Jesus with them was even more awesome.

General rose, or do you happen to take questions here? Yeah.

Nothing's off limits.

Nothing is off limits.

Right.

There you go.

As long as the song is such.

Yeah.

So ask a question, share a comment.

Did everybody hear the question? Yeah.

I mean, I I I think, yeah, it was that you've got friends who've a child whose life limited.

How'd you reach out to them? I think it I mean, I think it's a tricky 1 because for me, it was we, we just really wanted people not to shy away, just to, you know, accept the child as, you know, accept Heather as she was.

We certainly didn't want pity.

You know, I know you wouldn't do this, but you don't want to come across as, you know, they're not suddenly your charity case.

You want to love them as family and as friends.

You know, that their son is a child made in the image of god.

But a lot of it is practical stuff.

So that we would want, you know, someone maybe just to take Heather out for a bit.

And it it's whether you can get to a stage where that can happen.

But certainly coming alongside and really asking them what do you need rather than because there can be a temptation to go.

Let me do this for you.

Which again, you know, they've already not got the power anyway.

You'll probably know yourself dealing with local authorities and stuff like that.

So yeah, don't never just put your ideas of what you think they'll need, which I know you wouldn't do.

But, you know, I think I think it is just asked say what would be helpful, and just keep checking in and saying I am here for you, you know, don't forget all, you know, can I come around for a cup of tea? You know, is there a mom and dad as well? Yeah.

I think so, you know, and okay.

And maybe just something like that that maybe if there's just time away when you guys can, you know, as women go out together, if the guys can don't know if that helps at all, but I think, you know, I mean, the interesting thing was, as I say, I was not a in.

I was very much an enemy of god, but I also knew god was sovereign.

And so for me, as I said, for me, there had to definitely be a purpose.

Interestingly though I did meet a Christian lady because, you know, especially his kids.

And she had had 1 son who was absolutely fine, and then she had 2 children.

They didn't think the next 1 would have it.

They scanned and everything, where their brains stopped developing at 6 months of gestation.

So they didn't have a 6 month old baby brain.

They had a 6 month old fetus brain.

So they could not be comforted.

They couldn't be fed.

There was just such such complex needs.

She was going, where's god in this? And I think, you know, I think that's the thing that I don't know if French are talking about whether they're Christians or or not, but I think it speaks volumes that people will get very angry, especially if they're not believers suddenly go, well, why would god do It's like, well, why are you even thinking of a god who can't possibly exist? And I think it's bringing that message of of actually saying, No.

This is real it's really hard to understand at times, especially if they're not believers.

You know, it's different if someone's a believer, you've you've got a a point that you agree on.

But again, I think it's that thing just to be there and just for you to show the love of Christ, for you to be Jesus hands and feet and his words of comfort.

And ask god to to bring about that change in them, I think, is the is the is the realistic thing, because I think to go up to anyone, who's child has received a diagnosis like that, or someone who's died to go up and say, they're in a better place.

So, oh, the lord's got a plan.

You wanna slap them, you know, because life wasn't this wasn't how I planned life to be.

And I need to blame someone is often where people come from that bitterness.

Again, I don't know if that's particularly helpful, but we can talk more over a cup of tea.

Ruth? My most lovely actually is where she, she told a lie about 1 of her nurses it was hysterical.

Let me explain.

She had her yes, no cards, and she'd come home from school.

And in their home book, they put we noticed a bruise on her knee or whatever, and She had a knee brace, so chances are it just got knocked.

And I said, no, that's fine.

Okay.

Whatever.

And then I said to Heather, and we've got this nurse called Anna who came in, who was lovely.

And they had such a good rapport.

And I sort of asked, did this happen at school? No.

Did this happen at home? Yeah.

And was it this? Was Did Anna and I just jokingly get, did Anna hit you and she looked at her, yeah.

So when Anna came along, I said, she told me that you She went, you cowbag to to to Heather burst out laughing.

And I'm like, seriously, you just you could this woman could lose her job over but that was just very much Heather, you know, that she she just had a weaker sense of humor.

Know, we'd be in hospital and she'd be watching Jeremy.

Well, she was she was lying in bed at hospital 1 time and she was laughing and I was looking at the overhead screen and it was some tragic Jeremy Car story about someone.

You know, I'm a heroin addict.

I'm gonna lose my kids.

And then later on she looked really somber, and it was the woman and I'm like, what kind of warped sense of humor is this job? So it's it's that.

Yeah, I It sounds cheesy, but it's like she loved life so much and she kept going that how could we not? You know, you also don't have the sense of humor yourself to deal with it.

So Can I just repeat the question? Cause it's quite quite so, what's happened has connected Rose to lots of people and given a lots of opportunities.

And Kate is asking, has that also happened to Steve? So Steve uses opportunities just through his work and stuff.

He wouldn't even listen to this talk.

He he's still grieving a lot.

And that's it, but you don't see it, you know, on the surface.

So actually we were at a another friend's funeral a few weeks ago.

And they started playing, Snow Patrol chasing karts, which is Michael and Heather's song.

And Steve is in tears next to me.

So I think he would probably bring it into conversations, but I think interestingly, you see our grieving really only started about 2 years ago, I don't know, when she turned 30, she would have been 30.

And actually doing this has really helped me.

So it's a slow process.

It's not like in the films.

We have a really good cry move on.

So but yeah.

That's correct.

You you talked about, the church, yep, that she went to and how they doted on her and everything.

Was that your general experience of churches? Or, no? No? Okay.

What what did churches do you do? No.

So I think this is my life, Heather.

I think well, it's less so with Heather, I suppose, because we we didn't sort of like continually continually go to church.

It was at a particular time in her life.

And they were great practically.

They they raised funds for, like, a special bed for her and stuff.

And, you know, they did expand the gospel and I got Cornerstone, but they were very loving and they they did love Jesus.

They were very liberal.

But I think it was more probably with the boys.

Where we'd friend had invited us to another church and how they tried to make Connor sit down in their Sunday school, which ended up being a 45 minute talk that they just had to listen to.

And we're talking about a 6 year old or a 7 year old with ADHD.

So then they rang me to come and collect him.

So, of course, me then feeling like flaming Christians, because I wasn't a Christian.

And then they rang me to sort of say, no, we should we shouldn't have done it.

Please bring them back, and it was actually that's too late.

Because actually, if you have special needs, kids, for those of you here that have that experience as well, it can take so much energy just to even get out of the house and engage with people and you face barriers all the time, whether it's getting something your child needs.

Church should kind of be the last place that there should be barriers.

And, you know, people might say, yeah, but we're not used to it.

Okay, still not an excuse, you know, burn.

But, you know, thanks be to gold when we we came to Cornerstone and and Rory with, you know, Connor was like, yeah, if it gets too much, there's sort of a little corner at the back, if you just want to draw or whatever, and it wasn't made a big deal of.

That was the great thing.

So he didn't feel wrong or bad or whatever.

So, yeah, a lot of the experiences.

And in fact, just 1 quick anecdote was, we had to her lady who used to help do these sizes with Heather.

I mean, this is the other thing.

God kept bringing Christians into my life.

There were really nice people, and then about 3 months later, I'd find out they were Christians.

You'd you'd think God was drawing us in on something.

Anyway, but I went along to her church, and I was for once, loss for words because we're having this little tea and everything.

And there was a woman who was a youth worker there.

Gladly, our our youth workers are not like this here.

And, and I said about Heather having special needmanship.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Yes.

We had some people visit our church in wheelchairs.

I'm like, okay.

See where this is going.

Said, and they were we we're playing our songs, and they made such awful noise.

And I'm thinking, they're praising god.

I really think people like that should have their own church.

And when my friends have bought Titty Titty Hitter, I said, I was so stunned.

I mean, I never went back, but I just thought you've got someone in ministry here who is saying people like that need a church for their own.

And I think that's definitely an attitude we've got because it can be uncomfortable when you meet people with disabilities, you know, in a way with kids, it's easy.

They're cute.

You know? But with, you know, if if we get adults with disabilities or speech impairments or whatever, it's like it's not about making church accessible, it's about belonging.

You know? So you might not have a ramp.

Doesn't matter.

Do they feel belong? Do they feel part of that church family? You know, and again, they're not your project, they're brothers and sisters in Christ, or they're people who coming in who need the gospel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we have to be so careful because, it's clear, like, from the story of Heather, but, god sees people in very different ways for to how we do.

He values people in in a very different way.

And those those people that are deemed by society to be the weakest and, you know, people that should be practically shut away, are possibly the people that that god uses most and and honors most and 1 day, we will find that out.

And it would be, well, embarrassing is is is the moldest thing you could say that it would be to discover that somebody that you despise perhaps, you know, in your heart is actually honored by god.

Yeah.

Well, I I heard something that I thought was brilliant where I said you have to remember that Christ disabled himself to live amongst us.

Yes.

He could not come down as in his full glory.

And of course, and he was rejected as well.

He was, you know, so, and he bears scars, he bears deformities he was nothing to look at.

Kind of thing.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

It's just just a tremendous example of how god, you know, honors the the the weakest.

And and that's what the church should do.

You know, if you read 1 Corinthians 12, the weakest members should receive special honor.

Yeah.

So I hope perhaps we've done that a little bit of that this morning by coming to hear your story, Rose.

She did say I'm Michael, doesn't she? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can really see that she They're definitely my side of the family.

Yeah.

Then if anyone of you know, Michael.

Yeah, so as I say, we're very grateful to, Rose.

Okay, let me, just pro, and then, we'll just a few things to say at the end.

Father god, we want to give, gratitude, first of all, to you for, the wonderful way in which your plans and purpose is worked out.

We thank you for, our sister and brother, Rose and, Steve, and also Michael and, Connor and Elouise.

We thank you that, that they are where they are today, really because of Heather, because of her coming to know and love Jesus and expressing that.

So clearly, even in the limited way that she had to express things.

Heavenly father.

We pray that you would help us, to be people that want to, welcome, anyone no matter how weak or dishonorable they might be deemed to be by the rest of society.

We pray that you would give us compassionate hearts and, wisdom to know how to help families that are struggling with, of, the difficulties and the challenges of a child with many disabilities.

And, Heavenly father, we pray that you'll continue to work, to bring comfort to both Rose and Steve and the rest of the family and, that you'll continue to work to give them opportunities, to share the love of Jesus through the story of Heather.

And we are seeing things in Jesus' name, our men.

Again for joining us for this episode, and don't forget that we have plenty of other episodes on our everyday Cornerstone podcast.

.