The Truth About...

Let's pray. Father god, we thank you for your word. We thank you that it's a living word that it speaks to us today. Lord, as we turn to it now as we, study it together as think about this subject of friendship. We pray that, by your spirit, your word will open us up that we will be people who whatever we've come in this evening thinking about or whatever the state of our hearts that your word will cut through that and will change us.

In Jesus' name, harm, please sit down. And if you want to turn in your bibles to 1 Samuel chapter 20, And this is on page 2 92, if you're using the church Vibles. 1 Samuel chapter 20. And once you've got it open, you can just leave it because we'll get to it a bit later on, not at the beginning. This evening.

This is the second, as as Matt said. This is the second in a a little 2 part series, if you like, on friendship. We looked at it last week. And those of you here last week, you'll remember that I threatened to defend Pym, from Facebook, which is a socially shocking thing to have done. But luckily, he doesn't seem to found out.

So he hasn't commented, so let's just keep it between us. And, that'll be fine. So this evening, thinking about friendship. You see, the problem I think we have in of the things we have in our society is the problem with role models. Roll models are very important, but the problem we have with role models is that they so often disappoint us, don't they?

You know, just think about, those of you that are into this, you know, the footballer. The footballer that brings your team to life, the footballer who you almost worship, who kisses the badge when he scores, And then in the next 2 weeks, during the transfer window, he'll go off to some other club for basically more money that he doesn't need. Disappointing for your fan. Well, what about politicians, entertainers, film directors? You know, even our religious leaders, constantly, there are people saying 1 thing and then it's exposed later on they're doing something else.

We've grown used to a press, haven't we? A press that on a weekly basis seems to be exposing yet another, you know, high profile figure as being a hypocrite and a deceiver and there's massive fallout or there seems to be around that person every time this happens. And it's not just that that's depressing And, you know, there's nobody we can look up to in society. It's more than that because it makes us cynical. It affects our friendships because we find it increasingly difficult to take people at face value.

How can you take anyone at face value? How can you trust anyone when constantly, the people you see in the press, the people you look up to in the world, are constantly unveiled, if you like, as being these deceivers, impure motives lies, deceats, whatever it is. How do we trust anyone? And if we can't trust anyone, why would we bother making new friendships? Which require us to trust people if that relationship's gonna go any further.

Last week, we looked at 6 characteristics of biblical friendship. Let's just remind ourselves of those 6 things or for those that weren't here. Firstly, we're made for relationship. We were created by god to be in relationship. Second, we saw that friends often have a shared goal or experience.

In other words, friendships are discovered. Thirdly, we saw that 2 people are better than 1. Firstly, we saw that friends tell the truth. Friends are candid with each other. Fifthly, we saw that unlike family, friends are people you choose.

And sixthly, we finished in with by looking at the fact that really only Jesus Christ. Is a true friend, a a friend that we can completely trust. See, there's no doubt that friendships can often end in jealousy and an unhealthy competitiveness. What was once a, you know, a good friendship, a beneficial friendship, becomes full of pain and disappointment, and both parties damaging each other. In movies, You'll often see when you, a situation where 2 friends, perhaps they, you know, they both decide they like the same girl.

And it causes huge friction. Or in sport, you often get a situation where 2 friends, particularly early in life, when they're kids or whatever, they're training together. And it's a happy relationship. And then 1 gradually begins to pull ahead, perhaps through ability, perhaps just she's more focused, or she's more focused. Or perhaps 1 of them develops an interest in something else.

Whatever the reason it ceases to be fun. Because for 1 of them, it's not what they're really all about, and for the other 1, it's all encompassing. Very rarely do friendships survive that. Yet the friendship that we're gonna look at tonight, the friendship between David and Jonathan in the old testament, in the book of 1, Samuel, survives many difficulties. It could have easily ended in tragedy.

It could have easily been a disaster that, and it doesn't happen. It doesn't end like that. Jonathan and David remain lifelong friends and they exhibit many of those characteristics that we looked at last week. And then we're gonna start with a story. The story of David and Jonathan as a friendship.

It's gonna take some time, but I think it's worth it because then we can apply from knowing the story better. So don't turn with me because we're gonna go through something like 22 chapters here fairly rapidly. So we don't need to turn to it. Just just listen and taking the story. We're gonna go back to 1 Samuel chapter 8.

And what's happening here is the elders of Israel have come to see an aging Samuel. He's led the nation for many years, and they've come to him and they said, we want a king. We want to appoint a king. Please appoint a king of Israel. Chapter 8 verse 20, they say, then we will be like all the other nations with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.

That's what they want. And Samuel warns them. He says, look, there's lots of negatives about having a king. Forced labor, sons drafted into the army, daughters conscripted to work in the palace, escalating taxation, he says. There's lots of problems with having a king, but the people don't want to know.

They want a king over Israel and in and they're insisting on it and what they're basically doing is articulating a discontent with the rule of god. That's what they're doing. But god says to Samuel, do what they want. So in chapter 9, Samuel appoint saw as king over Israel. And although his reign starts okay at the beginning, he quickly gets into difficulties with the Philistine army.

In chapter 13 of 1 Samuel. He's got 2000 soldiers, and we meet Jonathan for the first time he's given Jonathan a thousand soldiers. And in chapter 13, Jonathan attacks a Philistine Garrison takes control. Now what's interesting when you read this little bit of story is Saul very quickly takes credit for that. He was miles away, but he pops up and takes credit But of course, what he hadn't realized is the response would be fairly fierce.

And the Philistines gather 3000 chariots And it says soldiers as numerous as the sand on the seashore. So what on earth's gonna happen now? So all is told by Samuel, stay where you are for 7 days till I get there, we're gonna make offerings to the lord, burnt offerings, fellowship rings, and then god will be with us. Just waits, he says. But as sore waits for Samuel, he begins to lose control of what is actually a very frightened army in the face of these 3000 chariots and soldiers coming over towards them.

So saul carries out the burnt offering himself. Now that means he's taken over the duties of the priest. That's what he's done. He hasn't waited. He's just done it.

It is a terrible, terrible decision. Why? Just think about that. Why is it such a bad decision? Because you see, when you think about it, He was seeking god's blessing through disobedience.

That's what he was doing. He was see seeking blessing through disobedience. And that never works. Blessing does not come through disobedience. And I guess many of us in this room have had to learn that.

You know, it's a bit like, and I know I've done this sort of thing myself. It's a bit like when you lie and then pray for the outcome. Doesn't work. Blessing does not come through disobedience. When Samuel arrives, he says chapter 13 verse 13, You have done a foolish thing, Samuel said.

You've not kept the command the lord your god gave you. If you had he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure the lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people because you have not kept the lord's command. Soald doesn't have any more details at that particular moment, but he knows, doesn't he? That his oldest son, Jonathan, who's just taken the who's in charge of a thousand men will not now succeed him as king.

Jonathan, meanwhile, blissfully unaware of his father's actions takes 1 man with him and approaches a Philistine outpost Again, he's faithful. He trusts god. He says it's a remarkable verse list, chapter 14 verse 6 we're in now. And Jonathan says this, perhaps the lord will act on our behalf. Nothing can hinder the lord from saving.

Nothing can hinder the lord from saving, whether by many or by few. Jonathan and his colleague kill the 20 Philistines at the little outpost simultaneously god shakes the entire ground. And the Philistine army on seeing the 2 things happen panic. So all, again, rather late to the party, nevertheless pops up and attacks them as they run away. Chapter 14 verse 23.

So on that day, the lord saved Israel. The lord saved Israel. Within get to a very strange part of the story. Stay with me. Saul randomly dictates the troops mustn't eat anything.

That just had a big victory. Don't eat anything. His son, Jonathan, hasn't heard this order. He eats some honey. And as a result, saul decrees that his own son must be killed.

Now, sore when you read this bit is undoubtedly portrayed as a rather indecisive changing his mind king. Jonathan's men talks all out of it. Let's not kill him. So all here is contrasted with a very strong, a very courageous a very popular Jonathan. So fast forward, we now chapter 16.

We find Samuel on the other the other bit of the story if you like, he is now anointing David, a shepherd boy, is the future king of Israel. Chapter 17, very quickly moving on. David kills Goliath with a sling of stone. We know that story. Again, saul in front of the Philistine army there is dithering.

What do we do about Goliath? And the Shepard Boys, you know, pipes up and says I'll do it. David's star is rising at this point. It's after David returns from killing is holding Goliath's head in his hands having cut it off with a sword, and he goes and meets Saul, King Saul, and that's where Jonathan and David meet for the first time. Chapter 18 verse 1, after David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became 1 in spirit with David.

And he loved him as himself. From that day on, saul took David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David along with his tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. David and Jonathan immediately are good friends here.

Yet as their friendship starts, Saul begins to fear David. He begins to be jealous of him, only few verses later, 11 verses later, Saul was afraid of David because the lord was with David, but had departed from Saul. See, David had everything that Saul didn't have. He was brave, he was a skilled fighter, he was courageous, he was popular, and god was with him. So saul now hatches a plot to neutralize David, and If you wanna neutralize a man's very easy way, get a woman involved.

And so Thor brings in his daughter. Now I have no idea how to pronounce this. I've asked a couple of people here this evening. I'm gonna pronounce it meekal. It could be Michael, but it sounds weird as a girl's name, Michael.

So I'm gonna go with meekal. Mika Als' daughter is given to David in marriage. This is to distract him, basically, but it only makes him more popular with the people. He's now married into the royal family. He's already a powerful hero having killed Goliath.

And so Saul's fear and hatred just grows again. Chapter 19 now saw vows to kill David, and he tells his son Jonathan about it. Now why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't he tell Jonathan? You see, Jonathan's the heir to the throne technically after Saul.

If David is a threat to Saul, then he's a threat to Jonathan. But it's not how Jonathan sees it. Jonathan warns David and then talks his father out of harming him. 19 verse 6, saw listen to Jonathan and then took this oath as surely as the lord lives, this is soars speaking, David will not be put to death. Classic saw, a little bit later on, completely changed his mind, send soldiers to kill David, in his house, but Saul's daughter, David's wife, Mikhail, warns David and helps him escape.

So finally, we get to tonight's reading. So we're gonna pick up the story in chapter 20 of 1 samuel and Jess is gonna come and read it for us. So you want page 292, chapter 20. Then David fled from Naoth at Ramma. I went to Jonathan and asked, what have I done?

What is my crime? How have I wronged your father that he is trying to kill me? Never, Jonathan replied. You are not going to die. Look, my father doesn't do anything, great or small without letting me know.

Why should he hide this from me? It isn't so. But David took an oath and said, your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, Jonathan must not know this, or he will be aggrieved. Yet as surely as the lord lives, yet as surely as the lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death. Jonathan said to David whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you.

So David said, look, tomorrow is the new moon feast and I'm supposed to dine with the king, but let me go and hide in the field until evening of the day after tomorrow. If your father misses me at all, tell him David earnestly asked my permission to hurry to Bethlehem, his hometown, because an annual sacrifice is being made there for his whole plan. If he says very well, then your servant is safe. But if he loses his temper, you can be sure that he is determined to harm me. As for you, show kindness to your servant for you have brought him into a covenant with you before the lord.

If I'm guilty, then kill me yourself. Why hand me over to your father? Never, Jonathan said. If I had the least inkling that my father was determined to harm you, wouldn't I tell you? David asked, who will tell me if your father answers you harshly?

Come, Jonathan said, let's go out into the field. So they went there together. Then Jonathan said to David, I swear by the lord, the god of Israel, that I will surely sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow. If he is favorably disposed towards you, Will I not send you word and let you know? But if my father intends to harm you, may the law deal with me be it ever so severely if I do not let you know and send you away in peace.

May the lord be with you as he has been with my father? But show me unfailing kindness like the lord's kindness as long as I live so that I may not be killed. And do not cut ever cut off your kindness from my family, not even when the lord has cut off every 1 of David's enemies from the face of the earth. So Jonathan made a covenant with the House of David, saying, May the lord call David's enemies to account. And Jonathan made David reaffirm his oath out of love for him because he loved him as he loved himself.

Then Jonathan said to David, tomorrow is the new moon feast. You will be missed because your seat will be empty. The day after tomorrow, towards evening, go to the place where you hid when this trouble began, and wait by the stone of Ezel. I will shoot 3 arrows to the side of it, as though I was shooting at a target. Then I will send a boy and say, go find the arrows.

If I say to him, look, the arrows are on this side of you, bring them here, then come because as surely as the lord lives, you are safe. There is no danger. But if I say to the boy, look, the arrows are beyond you, then you must go because the Lord has sent you away. And about the matter you and I discussed. Remember, the lord is witness between you and me forever.

So David hid in the field, and when the new moon feast came, the king sat down to eat. He sat in his customary place by the wall opposite Jonathan, and Abna sat next to saw, but David's place was empty. Saul said nothing that day for he thought something must have happened to David to make him ceremonially unclean. Surely, he is unclean. But the next day, the second day of the month, David's place was empty again.

Then saw said his son, Jonathan, Why hasn't the son of Jesse come to the meal, either yesterday or today? Jonathan answered David earnestly asked me for permission to go to Bethlehem. He said, let me go because our family is observing a sacrifice in the town, and my brother has ordered me to be there. If I have found favor in your eyes, let me go to see my brothers. That is why he has not come to the king's table.

Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan, and he said to him, you son of a perverse and rebellious woman. Don't I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you. As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me for he must die. Why should he be put to death?

What has he done Jonathan asked his father? But Saul hurled a spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger. On that second day of the feast, he did not eat because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David In the morning, Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David.

He had a small boy with him, and he said to the boy, run and find the arrows I shoot. As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. When the boy came to the place where Jonathan's arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after him. Isn't the arrow beyond you? Then he shouted, hurry, Go quickly, don't stop.

The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master. The boy knew nothing about this, only Jonathan and David knew. Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, go. Carry them back to town. After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan 3 times.

With his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, go in peace, we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the lord, saying the lord is witness between you and me, between your descendants and my descendants forever. Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. Before we turn and look at the details of the friendship though, let's just finish the story.

So we've got to this point. David's now been warned by Jonathan and he's gone. The next 4 chapters is Saul pursuing David. In fact, he spends really the rest of his life pursuing David to try and kill him. But we also see Jonathan look out for his friend again.

So chapter 23 and verse 15 It says this, while David was at Horish in the desert of zip, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. And saw's son, Jonathan, went to find David at Horash and helped him find strength in god. Don't be afraid. He said, my father saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel and I will be second to you.

Then you get I'm skipping forward chapter 31 of 1 Samuel, Jonathan and Saul, and Jonathan's brothers fall in battle against the Philistines in fact the sons are killed and then Saul takes his own life chapter 31. 2 Samuel opens David morning Jonathan. Jonathan's died. David is mourning his friend, and we get this little lament written by David in chapter 1, which says this. I grieve for you Jonathan, my brother, You were very dear to me.

Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. Then in chapter 5 of 2 Samuel, David finally becomes king, and chapter 9, he searches out and finds an unpronounceable relative of Jonathan called Mefri Bocheth and brings him to his palace to Samuel chapter 9 verse 7, he says to him, don't be afraid. David said to him, for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father, Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather saw and you will always eat at my table. That's a very brief summary of the story.

Obviously, I've missed out quite a lot. There's a lot of chapters there. You can but that's the sort of key elements for us tonight. See, David there at the end is keeping his covenant with his friend Jonathan. So what do we make of that friendship?

How do we learn from it? You know, when we look at those characteristics last week, how can we see them in that story? I wanna deal firstly with a bit of nonsense, really, Andy asked me if I was gonna be dealing with this, and I hadn't really heard about So but when I looked it up on the internet, it is all over the internet. And that is the idea that Jonathan and David had a homosexual relationship. There's whole websites arguing this.

The argument is essentially made from chapter 20 verse 41 that's in front of you. After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan 3 times with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept the most. And then from the lament, there's really 2 verses that hanging this on. The segment, the lament 2 samuel 2 and verse 26, your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.

That's how they get the argument. Okay? So in our modern, highly sexualized society, We are taking those 2 verses and implying a same sex relationship that went beyond friendship. That's what they're doing on the internet. On the, you know, there's a scholars and so on doing this.

You see, it's not the purpose of the story, is it? Firstly, And of course you're only hanging it on 2 verses. It also contradicts other teaching in the Bible. I don't understand why nobody seems to pay any attention to that. It can only really be, it seems to me, our perverse western culture that you can reach this conclusion from.

Middle Eastern men, are much more prone to emotion and sort of physical displays of affection than we are, yet we twist it. I was, I used to do a lot of work for a very big, probably worth a billion pounds or something property company owned by, 2 2 guys. They had a lot of people working for them in an office in Victoria, and they had gigantic offices. I've never been they were beautiful with sofas and artwork and this sort of stuff. And I remember sitting in there, they were both Jewish, but they weren't orthodox.

They were quite, you know, westernized, and they're I don't even know they even went synagogue. But I was sitting in there 1 early late afternoon early evening with 1 of the owners, and the other owner came straight in. He didn't knock or anything, which was quite usual as far as I could tell him there. And he said, I'm off now, and they kissed. And, off he went, and I thought, my goodness, this is weird.

What is going on here? But it was just cultural. You know, I knew both of their wives. I knew their families. It was just cultural.

They'd built the business together. They were very close and that's that's what they did in their culture. But you see, if we want more than cultural arguments, if you're sitting there thinking, well, that's fine. I understand that culture is different than it was different then, but is there any more proof that it they're not they're they're not in a homosexual relationship, then look at the Bible. Because there are 2 verses left picked 2, I'm gonna pick 2 that go against that argument.

1 Samuel chapter 18 and verse 16, just flip back with me. 15, actually. When Saul saw how successfully he was, he was afraid of him. But all Israel and Judah loved David because he led them in their campaigns, it is exactly the same language of love in that verse, as in the verse they're picking on. So what are we arguing now that the entire Israel and Judah became homosexuals because David was so impressive.

Doesn't make any sense. Why apply it to 1 verse and not to the other? The second 1 that you'd only turn to this, Acts 20 first 36 37. When Paul had finished speaking, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him.

Now this is the elders of Ephasis. You've just been talking to them, and that's how they end the meeting. It's exactly the same language again, sorry, picture with the embracing and the kissing. So again, are we suggesting that all the holders of ephesus are now homosexual as is Paul the apostle? No.

Well, why not? Because we're suggesting it based on those 2 verses, It is a nonsense, and it's fueled by an oversexualized perverse culture. But we need to know how to argue that stuff. That's why I spend the time on it. See, I personally, I am very glad that our elders' meetings are not filled with embracing, weeping, and kissing at the end.

But that isn't the point really, is it? The point is that we should recognize a fantastic friendship between Jonathan and David. It's an amazing friendship that we can learn from. So let's look at last week's 6 biblical characteristics very briefly. How do we pick them up in this story?

Firstly, we are made for relationship. Well, it's all over this story, isn't it? You have a relationship between Jonathan and his father. You have a relationship between Saul and Samuel you have a relationship between David and Saul between David and Mikau, between Jonathan and his men, between David and the people. And ultimately between Jonathan and David relationship is all over it.

The idea that we were created to be in relationship because we were made in the image of god, that's the point. He's all over these chapters, but we see it most clearly in the friendship between Jonathan and David. They meet after David kills Goliath and it immediately said chapter 18 verse 1, Jonathan became 1 in spirit with David, and he loved him as he loved himself. That doesn't just happen when the guy walks in the room. We don't know what's caused it.

We're not told specifically whether it's his discussion with Saul and Jonathan overhears it, and Johnathan immediately feels at 1 with with the way David's thinking or the way he's speaking or his love for god in the in what he says. But David and Jonathan do have a very strong relationship with god, don't they? And that spills over into their friendship. In other words, the vertical relationship that they have as individuals with god has an impact on their horizontal relationship with each other. See, we saw Jonathan's attitude to god chapter team, nothing can hinder the lord from saving, he says, whether by many or by few, but David has the same relationship with the living god when he's persuading saul to let him go and deal with Goliath, he says in chapter 17, the lord who rescued me from the poor of the lion and the poor of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.

And then chapter 20, we see here Jonathan's saying, show me unfailing kindness like the lord's kindness. See, the whole relationship is built on a love for god. The foundation of their friendship is is god's faithfulness and god's kindness. And then it's an outpouring of that. That gives them the strength to show faithfulness and kindness and love for each other.

God is at the center. And that is very important again when we think back to last week. See, we were talking, weren't we about how you discover friendships in the church, how you should find good friends in the church and that it's actually difficult to have the same strength of relationship with non Christians, including non Christian family. And Jonathan and David show us why that's the case. Because god will be at the center of any real biblical friendship.

I was talking to a new person who came to the Hub lunch that we had earlier today. I think it was the first time he'd been to Cornerstone. Weirdly, he'd listened to last Sunday evening's talk on friendship And he said to me, that he had a great friend, a great friend, and they did give each other permission, which we talked about last week, to speak to each other plainly, truthfully, candidly, whatever you wanna call it strongly. But that sadly, that friend had gone away from the lord. So now, he was saying to me whilst he still talks, and they still talk openly because that's been a friendship that's built up a while.

He now knows that when his friend gives him advice, It is now worldly advice, not godly advice. Don Jonathan David have a god centered relationship. Secondly, we saw that friends have a shared goal or interest. Again, we see this right through the story. Remember both and technically heirs to the throne at 1 point.

But even before that, they've got a lot in common, brave, courageous, good soldiers, they attract intense loyalty from their men under their command. And of course, by the end, Sowell has tried to kill both of them. So they've got that in common. And don't underestimate that, by the way. You know, relationships people are often brought closer together by a common enemy.

You see it as in sport, coaches will whip up paranoia in teams. It, you know, it's us against the world type of mentality. To bring them closer together. And of course, we've seen already, they both trust god. So they got that in common both are faithful and obedient to god and is the basis for the whole relationship as it should be for us.

Just wanna mention Jonathan. I think Jonathan's worth special mention here because his behavior actually through this is remarkable. Jonathan trusts god completely fine. He accepts though that he is to become less than David. That he is to be subservient, that he is to go from air to the throne to basically a servant of David.

Jonathan accepts that from god. In chapter 18, right at the beginning, when he gives, David his tunic and his bow and all that stuff, He's giving stuff from a prince because that's what he is to a shepherd boy. And he does them. It's almost like he's handing over the throne at that point, but there's no envy. There's no malice.

There's no hate from Jonathan. Instead, there's love. Now just think about that for a moment. What is our attitude if 1 of our friends starts doing very well? I don't know, gets a promotion at work.

Moves to a big house. Has, you know, a child who's a superstar? Does it affect your friendship with them? Do we get jealous? Because there's no jealousy in Jonathan.

Doesn't seem to affect him because he trusts god. It's also interesting because in chapter 23, when Saul is after David, Jonathan, it says goes down to Horish to strengthen him. Listen to what he says verse 17. Don't be afraid, he said. My father saw will not lay a hand on you.

You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you, even my father, saul, knows this. See god's anointed David, and Jonathan trust god. In his eyes, it's done. If if god has said you're gonna be the king, David, then he's gonna be the king. So that is a marvelous thing to share, isn't it, with a friend?

Not only a love for the lord, but a complete trust that what god says is gonna happen. Thirdly, last week, we saw that 2 are better than 1. And again, we see that throughout the friendship particularly chapter 20, which which just read for us. You know, they work together to identify is Saul serious? Is Saul really gonna kill David, and then secondly to make sure that saw, David escapes.

See, without Jonathan, without his friendship, David could have easily fallen to the hands of saul. 2 are better than 1. But the best example of that is the 1 we've just been talking about in horror Jonathan went to David at Horash and helped him find strength in god. The E s v translation says this, Jonathan saw his son rose and went to David at Horish and strengthened his hand in god. See, that is a terrific mark of their friendship, and it's 1 that we need to think about David was probably at that point already superior to Jonathan in strength, intelligence, depth of theological understanding, but who's strengthening who?

Jonathan goes to strengthen David He goes to strengthen David's hand in god. So that means in any of our friendships, it doesn't matter if your friend that you're thinking about right now is older than you. It doesn't matter if they've been a Christian longer than you. It doesn't matter if they seem more mature in the faith, there will be times when you are the 1 who have to strengthen their hand in god. And no, by the way, you're not giving them your strengths.

You're giving them god's strengths. The other thing to be aware of on this is that it is a conscious effort by Jonathan, isn't it? He doesn't just bump into David in the street and say, oh, by the way, you know, stay strong in the lord. He rises, it says. He rises, and he goes to Horish specifically to help him.

Now can you imagine the difference at this church, if all of us woke, even on a Sunday morning, but every morning intentionally deciding to strengthen someone else in god. Think about the way it does it? Jonathan does not send a message. He could have just sent a message to David. He doesn't text him an encouragement or a little 1 line scripture verse He goes to him.

He rises and he goes to him. See, look, from our point of view, we we touched on this last week. A text can be a great thing. It can be lovely to get fantastic to send, but it mustn't be all you've got as a friend. If our friends were simply looking for help that consisted of nothing more than a popular bible verse, they could find it themselves, frankly.

Most problems and David's problem here is definitely a case. Most problems are much more complex than that. And people need time, and they need sympathy, and they need encouragement, and they need understanding, and they need strengthening in the lord. So we need to be friends who are prepared to be inconvenienced and put in the time to help them. See, are you prepared to rise and make possibly, I don't know, an expensive journey to the equivalent of Horash to help a friend?

Fourthly, we saw that friends are candid with each other. Friends speak the truth, and chapter 20 is particularly good example of that. Look at verse 1, David says. What have I done What is my crime? How have I wronged your father that he's trying to kill me?

He's being completely open. He's he's I mean, there's there's a a gender under that. He's trying to show Jonathan that that's what's happening. But he's being open, he's saying, look, have I done wrong here? That's what we were talking about last week.

Give a friend permission to tell you when you're going wrong. Have you done that yet? It's been a week. Jonathan, you see, doesn't believe David straightaway. Look at verse 2.

He also speaks very candidly. Never, Jonathan replied, you are not going to die. Look, my father doesn't do anything great or small. Without letting me know. Why should he hide this from me?

It isn't so. But then as the progress as the discussion progresses, it becomes clearer to Jonathan then there may be some truth in this. Perhaps Soul is trying to kill David. And so verse 4 is, again, he's very open. Jonathan said to David, whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you.

And then in the same conversation, show me unfailing kindness like the lord's kindness as long as I live. So that I may not be killed and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family. And what's he talking about there, Jonathan? Why is he suddenly talking about, you know, don't be unkind to me and don't kill my family. It's a rather strange topic.

Well, all he's doing is recognizing that the norm when a new king takes over is to kill anybody who was family or supporter of the previous regime. Johnison's in a very tricky position, because Jonathan's the heir. So when David takes over, the norm would be for him to acute Jonathan straight away. And Jonathan is being absolutely up front with that. And saying, look, don't do that.

When you take over, I'm trusting you, I want you to look after me. And if I'm dead, look after my family, and of course, we see David does. Are you that upfront with your friends? Do you talk to them like that? Do you talk this is a difficult situation?

So do you walk on egg shells too much with your friends? You know, you might upset them. I'm not sure I wanna say this. They might not like this. Be candy, deal with stuff.

That's what this is showing us. Fifthly, unlike family, friends are chosen. Well, again, we see it in chapter 20. Jonathan has to choose between his father, saul, and David. Now it's not quite as straightforward as that is it.

He's also in a sense choosing between right and wrong. He's choosing between what god says and what saul wants. Nevertheless, they choose each other. As Jonathan uncovers sore's plan. Look at the anger verse 34.

Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger on that second day of the feast he did not eat because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David. First 42, Jonathan said to David, go in peace for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the lord. So do you see all those 5 things that we looked at last week are all in this friendship. It is an amazing friendship. It is a a role model friendship for us to look at.

But even the sixth 1, even the sixth 1 when we talked about Jesus Christ last week as being the only friend that never lets us down, even that can be seen in this. There's lots of hints of it all over the story. The covenant relationship between David and Jonathan, which is renewed here in chapter 20, It's to remind us we're to be reminded of the covenant relationship between Jesus and his church. The difference in this friendship though is you see, it doesn't last. It doesn't last, does it because Jonathan dies.

They're friends until that death, but he dies by the end of 1, Samuel's killed in battle. And so 1 day, we will die. And our friends will die. And your best friend may be lifelong, but 1 day they're gonna leave you or you're gonna leave them. But that's not the case with Jesus Christ, is it?

If Jesus Christ is your lord and savior, he has conquered death. He sits at the right hand of the father now. And 1 day he's going to return to take us to be with him in heaven. See, he won't let you down. He won't leave you.

He won't get killed in battle like Jonathan did. He won't die again. In the friendship here, Jonathan in effect says to David, all the way through from 18 onwards, you are the better man. You are the better man, and I will recognize you as my king, even though I'm the heir technically. Isn't that what Pete was talking about this morning, if you're there, about being a child of the promise?

You see, in many ways, Jonathan is the nicer person. Actually, when you when you get into it, Jonathan is the 1 risking things. Jonathan is the 1 going against his father. Jonathan is the 1 risking a lot for David, but David is the 1 god has chosen. And Jonathan accepts that.

See, why is that important? Well, Pete told us this morning because it shows us that salvation is from god. Not from what you do. So we need to seek Jesus as our savior. Have you done that yet?

Have you recognized? And if you're a Christian here tonight, then you will have done. You will have recognized that Jesus is the better man because Jesus is the role model who won't disappoint us. But he's much more than a role model. Have you recognized him as your king?

Have you recognized him as your lord? Have you recognized him as your best friend? Let's pray. Father god, we thank you for your word to us this evening. We thank you for this amazing story.

There's so much more in this. I I pray that we will find time to read and think about this relationship help us to not take in nonsense from the world about this. Lord help us see in our own friendships how we should behave how a lot of what we do should be an outpouring of your love for us, of our relationship with you. Lord give us a relationship with Jesus that is real, that is, beautiful, that is powerful, that that might move us to be friends who will rise and go to other people and strengthen their hand in you. Lord, we pray that we will be friends to each other in this church that will encourage build up.

And as as we've just looked at, lord, help us to speak to each other. In, a truthful way and a candid way, but in a way that makes us as individuals and as together, more godly. May our friendships not be about some film or sport or something else? But may they be about following you more closely? In Jesus name, amen?